Paris Hilton isn’t my favorite person, but I’d be upset if I lost my engagement ring too! Mine has a black pearl as the main stone and it fell out once; I was panicking until I found it.

Sister Rita retreats to her darkened rooms, locks the door behind her, and draws the shades. Then she removes her habit and pulls off her silicone mask, revealing her true identity- Taylor Swift. *sonos speakers blast “Look What You Made Me Do*

So if drugs were labeled like food, and there was a communication campaign indicating all the chemicals and other harmful products, that would deter people worried about their health from using drugs?

Uh, what colleges has she visited? Most students have no money and eat whatever they can find/afford. What sort of ritzy yuppies did she meet?

Prenups aren’t a thing in the U.K. like in the U.S. Last I heard they weren’t universally accepted by the courts.

There’s nothing romantic about being a fool in love. Prenups are like wearing a seatbelt. I don’t plan to crash my car every time I drive—I really, really don’t want that to happen and do everything I can to avoid it, in fact—but I know it’s a good idea to wear my seatbelt just in case. I despise the notion that…

I don’t like it when people’s décor tells me how to live my life.

I feel like the nuns’ gripe is more with the Catholic church than with Katy Perry. Am I reading that right?

I can’t be the only one here who would just...snack. And steal more snacks.

And then there was the couple who couldn’t understand why the cat was shitting all over the house and it turned out they hadn’t cleaned the litterbox for about three months. And the guy who said “if I leave ham on the counter the cat eats it all and then vomits” and Jackson was like “yeah have you ever seen a cat…

Both of my cats are obsessed with me. It’s cute until they want attention at 4:30 a.m.

I know that it’s popular trope that all cats hate their owners, but how many of you all have cats that do actually like you?

All three of mine love being around me, and demand to be loved on and cuddled. I’d post a picture of the three them with me on my bed but Kinja is being dumb.

For me, the little nugget of judgment I feel towards all of them for anything child-related is rooted in my own bitter jealousy. It’s the bitter jealousy of “you didn’t have to change your life AT ALL.”

I totally get the desire to have a more simple device, and it’s absolutely legit. But I DO think it’s completely fair to snark on people spending $400 for the privilege of having a non-smart phone that looks all fancy and new and cool when they could just go to Walmart or Costco or Total Wireless or whatever and pick…

She admitted in a Congressional Hearing to lying for the President.

I personally can’t abide the stuff, but most of the other women in my family are scotch drinkers. But they aren’t buying Johnny Walker with or without a woman on the label.

Look, it’s just all so confusing anymore. No more unwanted shoulder massages. No more slaps on the ass. No more asking a prime minister when she conceived her child. What’s next?! It’s simply getting out of hand. So many rules.

They could’ve just added the woman to the logo so they’re walking together, and NOT SAID ANYTHING.

“I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.”

I’m kind of surprised that they did not do a pink label and market it during breast cancer awareness month or mother’s day. Missed opportunity.