My mother once slipped near a big shelf of china in a department store. One of the employees caught her tango style.

Is that a painted tank truck or an actual giant melon?

My university has an unofficial neutral bathroom. It used to be a men’s but then they changed it into a women’s for some reason. The urinals are still in there and you can see them from the hall if the door isn’t closed properly. Many guys just see the urinals and rush in there without reading the sign. Most people…

The only problems our local stores have are a bunch of teenagers in one cubicle who use it as their instagram showroom for hours.

The last time I was at TJMaxx they actually told me that I could also use the changing rooms near the men’s department because the other ones were full. I’ve also seen guys trying on things near the women’s department, most of them were with their wife/girlfriend/some woman, but still. Come to think of it, I can’t…

My mother often doesn’t realize that it’s her phone that’s ringing or she forgets it somewhere. Some years ago she complained that I never answered to any of the voice mails she left. The weird thing was that I never got any of her messages. Turns out she was still calling my number from 3 years prior. Somewhere out…

But to make up for it she also did some chores around his house. She had no evil intentions at least.

His name is the German word for BBQ skewer, like the big ones that can fit a whole chicken.

I think my parents are glad that I always had the same favourite colour throughout my childhood.

The only fingerlings I know is something that looks like a tiny condom for your finger to cover up wounds or to count money.

That depends, are you a werewolf?

The Italian name for a certain shell is porcellana. It has a glossy finish that looks like porcelain.

Bone china contains bone ash, it gives it a translucent effect and is high quality. Not that it makes the ‘paper’ cups any less ridiculous, but it’s a legit type of china.

Not always. Many Slavic nicknames are longer than the real name, like Ilona/Ilonka or Ivan/Vanya.

I’m not religious either.

It was my grandmother’s birthday too. That’s why we don’t go to the graveyard on All Saint’s day (it’s also less busy) and wait for the next day.

A friend’s dog learned how to use their bidet and now only drinks from the bidet instead of his bowl.

To be fair, there are some decent people who tried their best and still have shitty kids. But those people don’t post bail for their hellspawn and try to sweep it under the rug. Most of the time it is failed parenting.

Is ‘assault with bodily fluids’ a thing? In some states it can count as a weapon.