My partner is a furnace. We actually have to sleep under seperate blankets or else risk heat stroke.

Voice: Hello, and welcome to the Springfield Police Department Resc-u-Fone. If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. To choose from a list of felonies, press two. If you are being murdered or calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line.

But it could be so fun to have a mannequin come alive at night!

Who still shops in retail stores?

My friend and I were discussing that this morning; our first thought was "thank God the kid didn't have a gun."

Shake harder, boy!

I have dated men who had both big dicks and big guns. Just sayin'.

Have you encountered any Legendaries yet? The Kanto Legendaries (Mewtwo and either Articuno, Zapdos, or Moltres) play this theme when you fight them.

Karen. Her Houndoom screwed my team up in Silver, and she has the best quote ever:

Fairy types make lance look like a bitch anymore.

Alder, champion of Pokémon Black & White (He's not all about having the most powerful 'mon, which makes him a curious champion.)

Do other people say "snes" like this guy? I always say each letter, "S-N-E-S"

Thanks to a bubble tape commercial, my brother still says "Chew dicks not tape or you'll never get into college." And laughs to himself.

The entire staff is just like "we were told we had to have Nancy Grace on here, we knew she'd say something idiotic, let's just move on", and it's great.

Why hasn't Hollywood made a movie out of THIS myth yet?

Right?! Every time a moderate Christian claims that "most Christians" don't think like that/do that/etc I wonder how that tiny minority of Christians that are bigoted asshats manage to run schools, mega-churches, the American government, etc.

Religious freedom is a fundamental right, but incorporating a business is not. When you form a corporation, you also take on the corresponding benefits and obligations. If your religious beliefs prohibit you from following through with those obligations, then you must choose between your fundamental,…

thanks for making every adoption agency and rightwing jerkoff think every same-sex couple who wants to adopt will do this, ladies! thanks a FUCKING LOT.

So I've only been at this parenting thing for 2 years now, but in my experience, just do your best not to push an agenda one way or the other. This means…