I just made this and texted it to six people who didn’t enjoy it as much as me.

Me balancing the budget:

or like a wallpaper option in the Sims.

Listen he called it “the Nerf party” and we both know it.

Hahaha I thought the same thing! JB’s definitely an impatient baker.

My afterlife will be a Biden backyard BBQ.

What a thrill —-

She still doesn’t have her papers. Maybe she’ll be the next to be deported, who knows? I don’t think he’d do that. But if he does, hey, that’s fate. Plus, it’s a nice thing to have hanging over her head—you know, ‘Do the dishes, or else.’

Saying something rude while speaking quickly does not make you Dorothy Parker

Hello cousin.

I grew up Irish too and we enjoyed closing our eyes and taking a deep breath whenever my grandmother talked about how blacks shouldn’t play for Notre Dame or Kelly Ripa’s arms looked weird.

This was beautiful, Aimée.

Did you call your Congressman or Senator demanding they support Obama?

“Some might say you’re not fully speaking truth to power because of that diplomacy,” he added. “But I don’t think that trying to appeal to the better angels of our nature, as Lincoln put it, is somehow a compromise.”

This tactic on the part of Trump’s team horrifies me.

I just heaved a sigh so deep my Christmas ornaments rattled a little.

“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT DELIVERY MEN ACTING AS ABORTION PILL MULES IN JEW YORK”

The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward convenience, baby! <3

Actual footage of said airplane dancing: