"Goulet! That's my name. Staring contest, me and you, right now…you win, you always do."

No Eye for an Eye! Denied!

Filmed entertainment that doesn't feature romanticized Lost Cause bullshit? I'm there with bells on.

Just had a feeling there'd be some storyline about maiseiophilia during Debbie's pregnancy, surprised it took 'em 8 episodes. Such restraint.

If the actor's makeup and outfit's gonna look that ridiculous, just have a random New Jersey Devil in his uniform running around without explanation.

FREE PIZZAAAAAAA!

"I ate the meat…I ate the guts! I ATE ITS ASS!"

As one of Sepinwall's tweets said the other day, "Who would've thought the discovery of the TV season would be Louie Anderson?"

The sister disappeared? On a Shondaland show? There may as well be a countdown on screen to the discovery that Owen's sister was captured by terrorists and is still alive.

Sheriff DJ Phil should become a regular cast member and make it official, you know?

Me too, it was when Juliette mentioned a stewardess that I had a Usual Suspects moment and flashed on the episode title and "c'mon, Richie, she's a 10!"

They essentially did a remake of "The Fabulous Belding Boys" episode of "Saved by the Bell" and didn't just namedrop Rod Belding somewhere?

It's funny, just yesterday in the pre-air review comment thread for "The Real O'Neals," I remarked how I never see any of my family in the seemingly annual "loud Irish Catholic family" sitcoms despite sharing the ethnicity and instead see my family all the time in "The Goldbergs," and then this episode features the…

"The Family" is the heartwrenching story of a boy struggling to overcome his addiction to frosting, OBVIOUSLY.

JGL's gonna play the black lady whose son was lynched and won a lawsuit that bankrupted the Klan to splinter it into its current state, winding up with the deed to their headquarters? What a stretch of his thespian skills!

The principal's statement had "judgment" spelled with two e's…no wonder Marshall sucks, haha.

An F! YES, you know that's a beautiful thing.

Hah, true. Same amount of jokes about her partying, same amount of jokes about her huge boobs.

Outside Dave appearance.

It seems like every year there's a new Irish Catholic family sitcom on the air, and every year my Irish Catholic self sees none of my family in it. You know which show actually does? "The Goldbergs."