This was a really roundabout way of admitting you didn’t read the article.

YOU ARE THE PERFECT EMBODIMENT OF EVERY CARDINALS FAN EVER

There’s a simple solution for the All-Star Game:

Publicly consuming somone’s can is actually what it is all about.

USA would DOMINATE!!

It's a dumb discussion. Abstain from it. You'll be happier and live longer.

Check his contract.

really really can’t believe someone as modest and reluctant to act like she knows best as mallory ortberg found some reason to dislike someone, seems crazy

Love him but also Davis Sedaris makes a lot of stuff up:

Jesus Christ dipshit, it was a joke.

Three kings is not exactly a pro-war movie.

I hear you, but I don’t think I come across many bad ones. I agree that hops are like bacon in the way people just throw them at any damn thing to try to cover up flaws, but the thing is: it works. So I’m not necessarily *impressed* by a lot of IPAs, but I still like the vast majority of them.

Wow, it’s like a vision of what Darren Rovell would be like if he were competent. Good stuff.

Wow. Someone with a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science could tear this to shreds. It’s just like Winston’s career: a lot of rah rah with little to no substance

Her attorney could move to strike almost the entire complaint. Almost everything they complain about is privileged communication; she can’t be sued for most of those statements EVEN IF THEY ARE DEFAMATORY.

Sports fans of the past fifteen years prove time and again: We hate cheaters. All cheaters except our cheaters. Those cheaters we love. And those cheaters probably didn’t cheat, anyway.

DAULERIO

Finally, I know one of these!

“That’s the word. Issues. Baltimore has issues.”

Jason Whitlock once stole a rib right off my plate at a BBQ restaurant.