The aces had the same suits as Zhu’s kings, so Zhu had no chance of winning with a flush. The other guy did. 

Because the Union Jack isn’t England’s flag.

Albert I love you but I honestly don’t know why you keep acting like the Warriors have broken the NBA when the god-forsaken Rockets took them to 7 like a week ago, and were out playing then until Chris Paul got hurt. Like are we just supposed to ignore that?

Hmmm Whitlock thinks class is more important than race?

h/t Ashley

A Dog was reassigned to right 500 word hit pieces on leftwing South American politicians at Fusion :(

I hope this post is in addition to and not instead of the regularly scheduled Jaguars content at Jaguars Junction™

Please send Ashley to cover the Super Bowl

This is good, but “Andrew Bogan” would have been better.

Can you give Pareene and Ashley their own vertical (called, I dunno “gawkspin.deadspin.com”) and just let them go nuts? If the bosses get suspicious, add a one sentence disclaimer at the end of each post about how it relates to sports.

Distinction without difference.

Someone really needs to explain to me how “paying people will decrease ratings so we shouldn’t have to pay people” is an argument that holds up in court.

I wonder why these arguments never apply to undergraduate research assistants or co-op students.

He’ll get his own vertical at First Look and somehow only publish three columns over the next five years

Great examples! Life expectancies for AIDS and cancer patients have improved dramatically over the last several decades, thanks to researchers who, believe it or not, aren't paid in "awareness".

Hey Mr King, shouldn't you be writing your columns on your own website?

Cut a 7 figure check to women's shelters in each NFL city.

Jesus, do you have to bike through Damascus to get to work?

So you're just going to ignore that fact that people die at similar rates walking as riding bikes? You think people in Denmark don't break spokes? (I've had a spoke break while riding downhill. I noticed a wobble so I stopped. I had to buy a new wheel but no brain injury!)

Walking trips are just as dangerous as cycling trip. Maybe if you're falling off your bike that often you should slow down a bit? I dunno.