She just needs to get back to hacking the planet.

I wanted so badly for this to be real, but... not a single one of those pictures of NHL players looked anything like any of the pictures of Tilda Swinton.

Adelson has found the most effective way to kill a story, or anything, is to kiss it.

I knew I shouldn’t have stapled all of that haunted bologna to that Bible and taught it how to speak. I am sorry everyone.

Most Likely To Fail Upward

Portis: Always bet on black!

Hope he has good legal advice. Fortunately, he’ll get to see how Dennis Wideman’s defense against bad checks works out.

This isn’t nearly as bad as a guy I know with a Mark Messiest tattoo.

I could raise more money from Columbus residents to keep the Browns out of the city.

Self Calls Player Out For Dick Move:

Undecided voter here who is trying hard not to get involved with internecine Democratic turf wars, but-

So this is how dry the well has gotten in the Gawker Media offices.

Solution for when you don’t have a cork screw handy: plan your purchase.

Think about what a colossal shithead you have to be to “undermine the reputation” of the Cleveland Browns.

Exactly! It’s crazy from both ends. Cosby has competent attorneys but they let some sort of quasi-verbal agreement be enough to waive the 5th? After decades of not admitting a thing they screw up that badly?

I can’t imagine that Bill Cosby’s attorneys would have allowed him to incriminate himself in the deposition if there was no immunity deal in place. But apparently there wasn’t an official one? The lawyers didn’t demand anything in writing? The whole thing is bizarre.

Based on the last two elections? Because you had a stretch there where Carter, Reagan, Clinton and Junior Bush went from Governor to President. That’s....28 of 32 years.

props to 90-yr old Michigan’s ex-Rep. Dingell for trolling so well

I love all this “they are 5-1 since firing him, they are finally coming together!” nonsense. They’d won 8 of 10 before they fired him, and ya know, were in first place. Just 30-11. I’m sorry, but when Luke Friggin Walton was coaching the Warriors to their eleventy million and 1 start, I’m over this idea that it was…

The Raptors were 12-2 in January. How about some coverage of them as well?