He should just go with the “What’s Two Times Zero?” line to describe his rivals, except his dumbshit base regards math as witchery.

The Tim Allen/Craig Robinson sitcom about toilet salesmen?

GET TO THE DECAPITATIONS ALREADY. Wait, wrong -lander.

At least the Rockets have the excuse that they can’t technically get a better coach (Brooks/Thibs already gone) until they’re flushed from the playoffs like the excrement they are; I think Lakers ownership/fans are still in the “we’re a destination!” delusion that makes them believe Westbrook and Durant will come out…

I have some vague notion he made other movies, like some sort of diminishing returns trilogy, but when I try to remember them, I get a splitting headache and my nose starts bleeding. OK so just Purple Rain it is.

I don’t know, I wasn’t watching, it’s like watching a tire fire. Why the fuck did they even have to win 3 straight to make the playoffs

Look out Obama, if this melted candle gets the nomination, your record support in the African-American community COULD JUST BE CHALLENGED

It’s OK, they’re going away now. Well technically they have to play a Game 5, I guess. Another few wasted days the ownership could be using to clean house.

Whatever I can do to help make this worse, thereby making myself look absolutely foolish, petty, and devoid of a life of my own in the process, I stand ready and willing to undertake.

The Rockets are continuing in a most unsportsmanlike fashion to refuse to lose to the greatest, kindest, gentlest, most life-affirming basketball team of all time, in fact creating quite a stir by even deigning to take their own home court to begin the game.

There’s still room on the docket at The Hague!

(millennial scoff) More like BayNobody’sWatching

It’s like the entitlement is transferred to the Yankee fan-fetus through the umbilical cord

(Obama is about to sign executive order requiring every kiss to begin with Kay’s) (aide runs in) SIR, PLEASE STOP! I HAVE NEWS!

They fixed it in future prints, I clearly remember Erf on taking my little brother to see it in theaters because we joked about it for months

(Minnesota votes for Trump by a 95-5 margin, turning 2016 election completely on its head)

CAREFUL! I’M OPTING OUT, BITCH

Who could forget the big threes of Drexler/Olajuwon/Barkley and Olajuwon/Barkley/Pippen? Well me until about 2 minutes ago.

I don’t think he was like his father, twofold, Prince was a pretty small guy.

I do like their inherent nihilistic policy priorities: Why try to preserve Earth’s habitability when there’s a scenario where a girl at Red Lobster bathroom will have QUESTIONS, what’s the POINT