It got so bad with Cruz’s God Squad in Austin that all knotholes in privacy fences and other wooden structures were plastered over with Jack Chick anti-gratification tracts.

♪ No-no-notorious ♪

Their economic model is currently the equivalent of Jack Lemmon waiting for the Nyborgs’ check to clear in Glengarry Glen Ross.

Think of the alternative, without some sort of competitive horse race to drive their frankly pitiful viewership, CNN may be reduced to abducting white girls or shooting planes out of the sky over the Atlantic with rooftop missiles.

I definitely would have called out my Tsongas bros for such reprehensible, juvenile behavior, but the message boards at alt.doomed.candidates were already contentious enough what with the Jerry Browners.

Unfortunately, the nation it became a monument for was... KENYA

The Great Dabo: “All the kids at Clemson are entitled SOB’s”

“So much for our state park system” — South Carolinian legislature

This is like getting all the way to Blended or Grown Ups 2 and wondering if Adam Sandler is not concerned with quality comedy productions.

Other state athletic departments’ open records initiatives:

So J-Lo unintentionally destroyed any show of wage equity for the next 50 years?

Look out, Jerry West’s dribbling silhouette, Sean Kilpatrick’s exasperated expression of utter futility and incompetence just may become the new NBA logo.

(millennial scoff) The Today show? More like the Eight Months Ago show.

Maybe she can go back to dinner whodunit theater (“Miss Maples’ Mysteries”)

Look on the bright side, if he bats his weight this year he’ll be in Ted Williams/Rogers Hornsby territory

Hey, they’re both married to colored people (Bill’s is honorary, and entirely undeserved, and probably should be revoked in light of that bullshit welfare reform/mass incarceration initiatives, but.. where was I?)

“So, Governor, when are we seceding? I got some problems here”

The boring prophet (“nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment”) is my favorite, I’m pretty sure most of his predictions, unlike Jesus’, have come true.

Similar disasters:

In all fairness, most possession with Josh, disabled or not, feel like either 4-on-5 or 1-on-5 (where he chucks up a 26-foot airball)