It’s time to start asking hard questions about former talk show hosts hit by a flying chair during a skinhead segment and CTE.

Oh dear God, not Siegebreaker, well that tears it for my New Brunswick metal playlist.

SHIT M&MS WEEK AND I HAVEN’T GOTTEN ANYBODY ANYTHING. Why don’t I just leave the country, I clearly have no appreciation for our cultural heritage.

“These bruises are consistent with repeated elbow drops and/or landing on a pile of guns.”

“Let’s watch AI break some ankles”

Have they ever thought of re-naming Jezebel “Block Element”?

He’s not technically a citizen, but he was born before America existed (3500 years ago in some Caucuses backwater) so maybe that technicality gets him in the race

Thank God, I was wondering when this underseen gem would get some exposure apart from the 9 dozen movie adaptations and 19 quadzillion theater productions

It looks like the shape of an old flintlock revolver.

And now my running mate: The Kurgan. He gets stuff done. Great guy. Effective as hell. Trump/Kurgan ‘16: THERE CAN BE ONLY TWO.

It’s important for all of the specific underlying facts in a news story to support the broad premise of the joke, or the joke ultimately fails and is a complete waste of everybody’s time.

It’s too bad because he was actually providing relevant pitching-related commentary. All they need is one production assistant on the 7-second delay dump button to filter out his non-baseball flights of fancy.

Must be referring to the inexplicable spring training game between the Cubs/Angels. My 90-year-old great-aunt makes more sensible schedules.

I kept trying to get a live box score of the Cubs-Angels game yesterday to no avail. Oh, that’s right, we’ve scheduled a spring training game to occur after the first official game, and we don’t even have the Eastern Hemisphere to blame this time.

I can’t believe the lead singer of the Plasmatics is (a) alive (b) black (c) issuing hot takes on the regular.

He was headed to Oakland after learning that the rent on his doghouse had been jacked up to $2900/month.

She’s lucky, anybody getting charged with a DUI on the US Men’s Team would get a hefty sentence regardless of whether they’re exonerated.

I for one am off of non-’organic’ foods altogether; the toughest thing to cut out of my diet was Styrofoam peanuts

Look, for every “oopsie” regarding Empowerplus, there are multiple success stories, like The Thing or Giganta here.

Nicolas Cage is more than happy to fold this into the existing franchise with 2017's National Treasure III: The Wright Stuff, co-starring Rob Schneider as his plucky Asian sidekick and Benedict Cumberbatch as the ghost of Orville Wright (all pre-Depression Americans spoke with a British accent).