Unfortunately she’ll have to file a wage disparity lawsuit against the Cup Stacking Federation in 2030.

You see this is what happens when Tom Friedman asks a random cabbie what the chillest sport is. 15 years ago he wrote a similar Magic: The Gathering column.

“There’s no finer TMZ aggravater” “Don’t you mean aggregater?” “I know what I said”

Just wait until somebody lobs a “inexplicably famous person says inexplicably stupid thing, resulting in rejoinder by inexplicably interested third parties” missile at Jezebel.

Little known fact: they called Dominique Wilkins “The Human HIghlight Reel” not for his many dunks but because his body chemistry had abnormally high nitrate levels, allowing his body to be transformed into 750 feet of 35mm film in 2009.

Please.. for the love of God.. don’t take away the rankings or the thing where somebody says something is good. Without things, ranked or unexplained subjective pronouncements, I’d wither and DIE

It’s a shame she wasn’t more influenced by The Roots’ Don’t Say Nuthin’.

This is just a release after the pent-up frustration of trying to date A.C. Green back in the day.

[redacted for utter redundancy]

Are you chirping? There’s no chirping in baseball! Well apart from the interminable, innumerate, insignificant complaints of whiny millionaires concerning violations of unwritten rules.

BREAKING: Shaquille O’Neal wins championship, raps in club about the palatable qualities of his derriere as sampled by Kobe Bryant!{tmz.geocities.com}

If combined with skeet shooting we’re talking a sport I could really get behind

I thought so to then they rid of all those pesky movies and good series for a 198th original series starring Will Arnett or some shit, and let’s not forget financing that hip indie movie starring Adam Sandler and some seriously maligned Injuns.

Golf: truly a gentleman’s game*.

Well, this is better than Dart Day.

And then the time he was allowed to pilot a dirigible..

Watch An Adult Write The Same Sacramento Kings-Related Story for the 117th Time

Great, I’m going to lose vital coverage of the time a ninth division amateur Estonian referee was slightly nudged by an irate fan. Or ~am~ I?

Hey now, there’s a 1% chance they’re in the top 1%

I call this “We Didn’t Start the Inconsequential Fire”