NFLPA Rep: We need to know what’s in those reports, and NOW

Should Deadspin Rest Warriors-Related Stories?

~Read~ the legislation? Now I’m sure literacy isn’t in the essential functions portion of the reactionary North Carolinian GOP legislator job description. Just tell them it’ll piss off queers and libs, that’s good enough and the only metric of success they’ll ever know.

I thought that was a Confucian one, like “Man who go through airport turnstile crooked going to Bangkok”

True fact: 80% of the proverbs are actually quotes from The Gods Must be Crazy or its shitty sequel, The Gods Must be Crazy II: Craze Harder.

Michelle Rhee responded in kind as the female half of America’s Worst Power Couple by firebombing several public schools

And yet still better than the Arnie Hammer (George Miller’s proposed Batman, I think) / Johnny Depp. Alls I know is that he’s the Green Hornet’s great-uncle. It’s the truth.

A hot Ma Kent just goes against everything I hold near and dear and probably explains why I avoided Man of Steel like the plague. That and the shitty director.

Or get the man behind the animated voice (shave Clancy Brown bald)

I just forgot that Ben Affleck played Superman (well, played George Reeves in 2006's Hollywoodland; Adrien Brody investigates his mysterious death)

Are they going to mandate authentic frontier gibberish translators for Colby Rasmus and Zack Greinke?

I still prefer 1953's Lone Ranger vs. Superman: Dawn of a Lucky Strike Print Ad

“Did you double-check?”

That’s where I take issue. If you’re looking for single game assists, nobody beats Skiles. Karl Malone isn’t even in the conversation as a power forward; his name just happens to rhyme with bone. At least Nate McMillian (25 assists, 1987) rhymes with villain or chillin’

He must have just come off that 30-assist game (Dec. 1990, Low End Theory recorded early 1991, released September 1991)

I too have developed a comprehensive legal solution that is fair and equitable to all parties involved based on having read about it for the first time 3 minutes ago.

Playing mad games as if your name was Scott Skiles

From 1989-1996, I could have subsisted on a diet of Tribe, Public Enemy, and maybe the Stone Roses alone.

It reminds of the time Walter Mondale went on Def Comedy Jam and just did a hilariously profane 8-minute set about Bob Dole.