Just think of it as the pro-Trump message being escorted from the skyline by a bunch of spray paint cans.

Roger Goodell promptly responded to this crisis by decreeing that all turfed fields should have the ability to lift up to sweep an incapacitated player under.

I’d settle for my 70-year-old Mom not constantly (1) double-clicking that which needs only a single click (2) putting the Chevy Tahoe through the back of the garage because she’s playing Mahjong on her phone while driving

Although I am a fan of this development, the NBA has decreed that no clips of a player’s performance against the Rockets can be used as evidence of offensive proficiency. That goes double when Ty “Blood Alcohol Higher than Field Goal Percentage” Lawson is on the court.

True Fact: the truth-in-advertising translation of “Dancing With the Stars” is “Some People on a Hardwood Floor”

At least she wasn’t caught with Melodonium, whose side effects include apathy in returning serves and poor doubles team play.

I for one am sick and tired of other states trying to wrest the title of “America’s Living Nightmare” away from Texas. We will arm endangered shorebirds with semi-automatic weapons while claiming that the South “really won” in our history textbooks if you other clowns keep persisting.

Good thing he pulled that off in the loss, he’d have been 32% from the field (6 for 19) instead of 35% (7 for 20)

Bonus if the two languages are speaking English and “in tongues”

That’s why I love the “traditional marriage” crowd who are being swept into the dustbin of history: you mean like King David, killing off the husband? The concubines? Arranged marriages and betrothals?

I can’t believe I let my subscription and my faith lapse.

ESPN’s saturation coverage is a bit embarrassing right now; especially in their choice of graphics (Peyton is third in playoff wins, only behind Tom Brady and Joe Montana). I mean, he’s alone in first for playoff losses, why not lead with that.

Everything Counts (in small amounts) describes the B1g Ten’s basketball offensive prowess.

Now begins the Era of the Spiteful Commercial Usurpation, beginning with wresting Copper Bands and Super Shave/Nose Hair Trimmer Club from Brett Favre

-body can do the PHILLY like I do.. /oldiesstation

In the Super Mario workout, after squishing various objects you test your vertical by grabbing onto a flagpole (those with bad knees can have said jumps raccoon tail-assisted)

Look out behind you! TOM DELAY, JR.!

Probably, it’s a densely populated planet.

(frustrated, crosses off question about gladiator movies)

Join the exciting and lucrative world of childproofing LAPD officers’ homes, because when left unattended they WILL stick their tongues in electrical sockets and hands in running garbage disposals!