See also: Texas, North Dakota, a dozen other states. Pass blatantly unconstitutional laws knowing you’ll lose, but stick it to women for several years while it’s being appealed and rack up tons of legal fees for your reactionary buddies in the AG’s office and contract law firms.

So I’m getting paid $50,000 to drive it? I think we can make this work

“OK, Viktor, I’ll get back to you in a week with my Make Ukraine Great Again.”

“How do you say banana daiquiri?”

Wait until Trump finds out that instead of campaign managers to get his message out, he just has to send my uncle a dangerously unhinged chain e-mail filled with disturbing and illusory suppositions and there will be total saturation within 48 hours.

How fare we in The Dozens?

“Most notably: No shirt, no shoes, NO DICE. I have lived it and I have learned it from the full hot orator himself.”

(Manafort grumbles out the door) More like Trite-Fart

Look out climate change YOU’RE TOTALLY FUCKIN’ NEXT

(snotty teen demographic loving Comedy Central exec scoffs) More like Larry Wil-less

Gawker’s medal count must be bittersweet, like the medals won by the Austro-Hungarian Empire right before World War I eliminated them as a country.

(Univision executives see little cartoon dollar bills sprout wings and fly away)

For some reason this is how I picture our ugly Americans, who had shirts on when they came in here.

Man, just rubbing in Gawker’s face that they’re the ones who are closing.

 Karl: Yea, you wanna come over to my house and listen to round-by-round

Ah, there’s that feeling of obsolescence I so desperately craved

This is the year they get a foot in the door, then Rex Ryan gets distracted by the foot and it all goes to hell.

That’s not the warm, forgiving Germany ~I~ know.

Both sides are the same!

Of course not, and I don’t deny a black man probably would have gotten a worse sentence, but this is one terrible incident vs. a multi-state serial rapist who probably should never experience another free day in his life.