The greatest creative of them all: the person who invented creative as a noun and actually got dullards to use it.

Fair enough if Reese Witherspoon were in this movie and not Renee Zellweger.

It’s almost like 16 is greater than 1

“He’ll be a valued member of our secondary when he gets out in 2034 at age 59, of course by then my scrambled brain will have outlived my body and been placed in one of them ED-209 dealee-bobs from Robocop” — Jerry Jones

(Law and Order DUN DUN music cue)

I’d hate to be a low-level Univision acquisitions due diligence drone right about now.

I forget all the machinations that went into one of the most laughably inadequate plea deals I’ve ever seen, at least this case is a reminder for us Law & Order-level criminal attorneys that the judge is free to chuck that shit in the trash can.

Three people whose name I recognize but haven’t been leads in a decade, nobody else in the cast I recognize, first time director and writers... this may have a trailer but a theatrical release may be unlikely, or at least highly tailored to evangelicals or a direct-to-streaming/DVD release.

But did they discover all four Pokemon

Who wants to hear MY dreary, useless anecdote supplementing this article? Please throw rotten vegetables, I’ll take that as a ‘yes’

If you were a true solipsist you wouldn’t even bother to proffer advice to others, others don’t really exist but as some extension of your own ego.

Finally, I was about to break this news in the comments to those dreary, dreary wildfire and flood stories.

“Mom, I got a job!”

Can’t wait until this is a 21-part original Netflix series in 2019.

Her name is Rio and she’s boosted all my stuff

NOOZ YOU CAN YOOZ

I mean if the NFL is punishing him for gambling, here’s a news flash, not really in the league any more, fellas.

As my Grandpa Merle used to say, ol’ Kurt’s about as edgy as a billiard ball.

Or his actions in 2013 with LIndy West, or his dozen other online flare-ups and flame-outs. Well that Bud lite won’t sell itself.

It’s a lot worse than you could possibly imagine, and this was just the 2013 story. There was a whole new round in 2015.