So, you're saying that he doesn't look exzachly the same?

Madeline, I know you know I know you can. You're a beautiful tropical fish, never change.

As Commander of the Feline Uprising I am going to wake you up by kneading incessantly on your chest at 4am until you feed me respect your opinion.

I will spare this man when I rule over all as a benevolent cat dictator.

It's a Swanson-approved tactic.

I will watch this. I had no interest, until I read the TV news headline: WHITE WOMEN FOUND and then the smaller "Hispanic Woman Also Found". Genius.

I am making 'Santorum squirt' a regular part of my daily vernacular now. I thank you.

It has! It's down in the greys, abusing the ellipse and capitalizing genitals!

What Mark Twain said about fools also applies to assholes!

So you did't get prime seating in a restaurant you bought a Groupon to and in response used an offensive slur multiple times and refused your hard-working server a tip (which s/he will get taxed on regardless) on your discounted meal after receiving an apology from the manager. Does that sum it up aptly? (And god…

After hearing your side of the story and weighing it carefully, I'm still going to rule that you are a huge piece of shit.

Doesn't matter if you are unhappy with the service, writing that someone is retarded and leaving it in their place of business is unnecessary. Next time pick a different word and don't be an asshole.

You know what doesn't show character? Or class, for that matter? Calling someone "retarded". Throwing hissy fits. Also, your post here. Ain't no one going to listen to anything coming out of your mouth now. Cheers!

i read your first line and didn't read the rest because you're a fucking asshole.

everything the Patriots have ever done

Thanks for the heads up.

Why can't we care about both? Schools are breaking the law by violating Title IX through their lack of properly addressing campus rape. Or should women who go to college just not get any resources to make schools fulfill their legal obligation?

Without the hyphen in your headline, you're telling us the mattress is the one attending the State of the Union.

I can't express how much I admire Sulkowicz for her strength

Here's to hoping Sulkowicz will change her mind and bring the mattress up to the podium and set it gently down on Mr. Boehner's lap.