Greg, there is no “third wheel in a relationship”. 

Chris Cuomo: “Mr. Guiliani, do you indeed wear diapers?”

Man, not even waterparks are fun for me anymore.  Boyfriend and I went to Cedar Point Shores (which we continue to call Soak City, as it was in our youths) and all the tall slides scared the bejeezus out of me.  All I could think was, “I could hurt my back.  I could hurt my head.  I could drown.”  Boyfriend, of…

Dolphins are not the sweet and innocent animals people think they are - pods of male dolphins will separate a female from her pod and gang rape her while attacking her to prevent her from leaving. They will literally stick their dicks in anything to get off - including (but not limited to) the rotting carcasses of…

Dead Cells. I quit after killing the very first enemy I encountered. I knew right then the game wasn’t for me. Let me clarify: I love Metroidvanias. But something about how Dead Cells is TOO fast paced turned me off. I like things to be a slow burn. You know, start, build up your strength and go through a narrative.…

i bailed on red dead redemption in the opening hour when you are herding cattle. i was bored out of my mind. i still never went back to play it and i’m not excited for rdr 2 really. go ahead and tell me i’m stupid.

My friends kept trying to get me to play Terraria with them, for like months. Nobody ever said that the difficulty of the server or whatever levels up, so I finally got the info from my friend and got on, only to immediately be killed by some...goblins or something that were raiding the spawn area. Uninstalled it and…

When I was a kid, my grandfather would buy me an NES game here and there as a surprise. One Easter, I got Fester’s Quest from him. I can’t cite when I bailed on it, as it doesn’t have traditional levels, but it was devilishly difficult and had that muted Sunsoft NES color palette... I put maybe 10 hours into the game,…

You are remembering correctly, but a lot of the commenters and writers here never were very reasonable about this.

Aziz Ansari doesn’t deserve the level of vitriol directed at Louis CK et al. CK masturbated to his subordinates then blackballed them with his influence. Aziz Ansari thought he was getting a groupie one night stand, she thought it was a date. Neither of them clarified their expectations for the night. He was an…

“nipples are erotic”

He doesn’t think about anything. He wrote something he knew would generate discussion and clicks - he succeeded. He’ll be writing for NYT as a tech editor very soon.

It’s crazy to me that anybody would have a deeper reaction than rolling their eyes and ignoring it when coming upon one of these messages. Human nature is and probably always has been, to some degree, finding humor in bawdy and immature things. The writer asserts that graffiti of penises has some darker, misogynist…

Up next, “People are spelling ASS and TIT on high score boards in arcade games! OUTRAGE.”

Yet another “why is this even an article on Kotaku?” moment.

I don’t post notes like this in Soulsborne games, nor do I find them funny... however, getting tilted enough to make a 2 page dissertation on the matter is fucking ludicrous. Go outside. Lighten up. Do literally anything else with your life.

Who gives a shit? This is like saying “Blocks are great except kids spell BOOBS”. 

Ah, so that’s who we should address our thank you letters to then.

and shivering.

writer: *list of reasons why something is transphobic*

Eh. She didn’t insult Aretha or dishonor her legacy. She was trying to point out how Aretha touched the careers of many singers sharing the room that night. Her story rambled on a bit, but that’s due more to improper preparation than a slap in the face. Let’s keep it in scope...