Why are you carrying all this cash? Hands behind your back, son.

It should no longer be your bank.

Hopefully she’s able to get away while his foot is stuck.

An insurance adjuster telling us why the victim of an accident shouldn’t get paid is like having the police tell us why a shooting was justified.

I like to think the Secret Service has reassigned all their worst people, guys who would otherwise be fired, to this detail.

Proud graduate of UCLA here.

To hell with you then.

It was pretty obvious that the streaker was a Blue Jays fan.

He’s a 40 year old with a borderline dad bod who became HW champ with a slick old man punch, what’s not to like? The fact that he called Jones out for being a fake good guy and a fraud while Jones was king of the world, and was still gracious in defeat immediately after both losses, only makes me like him more. He’s…

I hope the next movie introduces a virus that kills every male of every species in the Star Wars universe.

Good.

If that happens I’ll just look back and say “fuck me.”

Fuck you, pal.

Is there any way we can make sure that starring this comment bars you from jury duty?

Those cops would have shot a black guy and the alligator gets a pass.

high-grade cockiness

Is this from the Starbucks training module?

The best Ed is Sex-Ed.

You never hear about whirling dervishes being killed by wild animals.