Beyond simply being being seen as rude, direct refusals are more likely to be responded to with violent aggression.

Thanks. I’m gonna take this as a compliment.

I admit I haven’t read the original piece. I did read several other outlets accounting of events and none were as clear as you were. On top of that they needed many more words to be less clear than you were. Sadly many of them took Aziz’s side with carefully selected quotes, they did not grab the right quotes, by a…

You are a rare gem of relief in this hellfire of a comment section. Please compile all your comments into a paperback, appropriately titled ‘Bruh’, sell it like hotcakes and give 10% profits to HollaBack. You’d do the world a service.

She was actually pretty clear in her refusal. She said, ‘whoa, let’s relax for a sec, let’s chill’ the second he moved to take things beyond kissing. She moved away from him when he moved to get a handjob. She tried to leave for 30 minutes, during which time he blocked her path at every move and kept shoving his…

She did try to leave. She tried to leave for 30 minutes. He wouldn’t let her.

Also, and this kills me, they immediately turn it around and say “isn’t a man allowed to give a complement”? As if catcalling is any way a compliment; and not, what it actually is, a process by which bullies belittle and humiliate women for the benefit of their looking good in the eyes of other men.

Along those lines:

i would recommend you reread the article. she verbally told him to back off multiple times. during the end of the encounter, he said “do you want me to fuck you right here?” and she said “no” and he said “ok then lets chill with clothes on” and she said “ok” but then he puts his fingers down her throat and starts to…

And isn’t that what the GOP is using to excuse Trump too?

By “use your words”, you mean having men ask for consent, right?

Also Bruhs: Asking for permission is a turn off for 1 out of every 1000 women; so we’ll err on the side of forcing unwanted sex. (Which is the gist of the broletariat in the comment section of the AVClub article).

Ikr? I think it’s time we make men feel the consequences of the “men can’t control themselves; boys will be boys; it’s hard wired into their biology” excuses and strip them of all power. They can stay home, keep house, and look pretty.

Thank you for saying this. Jesus, this comment section is crawling with rape apologists AT BEST.

Yes...I wish there would be more discussion of this aspect. Many’s the time I would’ve been in the mood and/or stayed in the mood had the dude not gotten so damn forceful so damn quickly. A real mood-killer only when I was younger I didn’t know how to say what a mood-killer it was and make it stick. Not sure that…

The Week had a great article on the subject: The Myth of the Male Bumbler

Bruhs: “how can I know she DOESN’T want to do something, just by non-verbal cues?”

ALSO bruhs: “how can I be expected to wait for enthusiastic, verbal consent before sticking my (whatever) in her (wherever)? She obviously wants it without even having to say so! Feminazis ruin teh sex!”


Non-verbal cues: apparently only…

You (or another great commentor here) posted this recently and it’s an amazing piece. We, all of us, understand soft no’s in regular conversation about other topics but there are those who will purposefully not take those common cues when it comes to sex. Thanks for posting the link.

Exactly. She said that she moved her hand away from his penis multiple times, and he kept trying to put it back. I don’t know if people skimmed that part or think it’s okay, but either way, the response is depressing.

Right back at you- A woman who is pulling away is not ready to have sex with you. A woman who says let’s chill is not ready to have sex with you and a woman who is not enthusiastically saying yes is not ready to have sex with you.