Never shoulda touched that leper.

Y’all need to stop with these Cornell-y puns

Do you kiss your mother with Dartmouth?

Not all of them, but maybe BROwn. 

That’s a sporting chicken, my friend, SPORTING.

Yet a picture of a Frenchman with his lips around a small cock is ok?

To be fair, most of her tax dollars do go to pay for defense. So you could see why she’d be a little upset with the Seahawks lately.

Neiko Thorpe and Mike Tyson are not stadiums. They’re bipeds.

“I guess that was the short program,” Tessa said, watching the smoke rise from the end of her cigarette.

Nope Licks.

Rope Dicks

Dope Tricks

Does it rhyme with Pope Picks?

South Carolina certainly didn’t feel this interested in standing for the US flag a little over 150 years ago.

Back in 1997 I was out in LA visiting a friend. She got us 2 tickets to screen a movie. Free! Popcorn and soda included. BEFORE the movie started while in line, some dude with a camera asked me to plug the movie. Remember, free popcorn and soda. “It was GREAT! I’m gonna see it again!” I said. The movie was so bad I…

If the Cavs told Kyrie tough shit last summer and he was still on the roster...they’d still be the same band of dysfunctional pricks they currently are. But, and this is important, they’d be a considerably more talented band of dysfunctional pricks, and would have greatly increased the possibility that they could have…

Worst Hendrix Lyrics Ever.

Great, now I have purple fuzz stuck all over my prostate

Congratulations to TW313 for his response to FlowersforAlgernonCrumpler’s comment on Deadspin’s blog post about LeBron James’ Instagram #striveforaverage

Lions, too. LIONS!! THEY ARE GAY PRIDES, how can you possibly be against that?