Everything Trump says is a word salad hit by a hurricane category 5.

Because he is still stuck in the elevator. That’s the only thing he’s good at.

Tifanny is better off without him. Everyone is better off without him.

How would we know if Trump’s Twitter was hacked?

If Dorian damages Mar-a-Lago, I’m available to throw paper towels at the owner of this coastal property. 

• I am very much looking forward to Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders tag teaming Joe Biden, cage match style:

Did they not get the Public Service Announcement??

Chad Scott: What a day. What a motherfuckin’ day. 

Remember when Rush Limbaugh claimed that he would leave the United States if Obamacare passed but then he found out it would be harder to get OxyContin in another country so he stayed.

Whoever edited this is my hero. Internet always wins. lmao

I’m still trying to forgive Peter Gabriel for making 4 consecutive self-titled albums.

Perhaps Donald is just confusing his wife Melania with his wannabe wife Ivanka who actually met Kim Un at the DMZ.

Why is Bernie the only one down there? Where are the other democrat candidates to represent people against corporate giants?

I am glad you read it. What’s fucked up is that he is not alone. 

How could anybody look at this objectively and say “Yeah this dude is doing a good job, glad we picked him.”???

2) They asked me: “Sir, could you be president of our countries, too?” 

Epstein is not dead?

Yeah I liked this guy better when he was with the Eagles but at least this will drive Trump to new levels of mania and I’m all in for that shitshow.

“Are you a New or Old testament guy?”