While I don’t condone forcing men into having kids, I feel like sometimes they* don’t understand that there is a clock ticking for women and the longer they wait it is a much higher risk. Just move the timeline, that is one compromise that should usually go in the child bearer’s favour.

I would be pretty concerned with the letter writer planning to give the guy access to the apartment with her not being there once she gets to a “high level of trust” but without telling her roommates. I wish Dan had pointed out more that that’s a huge no-no. Giving someone else a key is a joint decision. And how is…

The man who wanted to wait longer than a few years (thus both partners being nigh 40) to have kids either did not actually want kids, or is an idiot.

It took me a while to find the article though, because I was mainly looking for a picture of Dan Savage’s face.

His frowny face in that photo always looks so hostile and disapproving, as if he is pissed off at you for some really bad betrayal or screw-up. It seems like a strange choice of photo for a judgement-free space for advice. Wait a minute ... Savage Love was never a judgement-free space!

Just popping in to say not seeing the same photo of Dan Savage’s face every Wednesday is a silver lining to this whole Kinja thing.

the comments on here were always better than the article. I honestly can’t believe they didn’t understand that value.

If you didn’t use words like “tripped over in the rush to take the high ground”, I’d probably be more inclined to have a nice conversation with you. But sure, what the hey.

I—uh—certainly not. I mean, pirates can get off on dressing like pirates, too, can’t they? I’l bet that’s why half of all pirates become pirates in the first place. You can’t wear those sexy, sexy eye patches to work if you’re an accountant.

If you’re disappointed in being first, I recommend you smoke some weed and hire a sex worker.

Making a “conscious decision to be close friends” is the part that sounds like a mistake to me. If a friendship happens organically when you’re both ready then fine (even then I don’t recommend it 90% of the time), but you shouldn’t be actively trying to maintain a close friendship with someone you broke up with 3…

It is me or are these pretty much grade-school level questions this week. “Should someone get back together with ex?” No. “Should me keep pining over ex?” No. “Should me hang out with ex and hear about his sex life.” No. Come on, Dan, get back to weirdos who insert My Little Ponies into unusual places!

Six months sounds to me like a good rule of thumb for this. If she’s still in a place where hearing about her ex’s new girlfriend causes her to fall apart, she’s making herself vulnerable by not cutting off contact for a while.