I think the thing is that you don't necessarily want her to think that she's pretty, but you do want her to have confidence, so that she doesn't fall for the first person who compliments her.

oh. oops. I was thinking "have the sex worker go to the interview for you." That might not be a good idea though.

yes. I took a class on politics of some sort in college and the professor highly recommended their website as a resource for figuring out how to vote in the less publicized local elections.

I usually check it out before I go to the polls, doing plenty of research online. One year, when I was about to move out of town, all the elections were local that wouldn't affect me in future, and I knew nothing about any of the candidates, I abstained from voting. And a few times, when I knew nothing about any of…

Yeah, I guess people just ordinarily don't count people like that (sex partners OR people they know). I thought I didn't know a lot of people, but if I sit down and add up all my coworkers, former coworkers, family, in-laws, etc, etc, I would get past 60 very quickly. However, I bet that what Fred was thinking was…

Thanks!

Thank you for making me feel young. ;)

Maybe? It's probably more likely that the store manager or employee will tell her she's being overly concerned (as some commenters have already done on this very discussion board) or that it's more HER fault than his, or be overall somewhat dismissive of her claims.

I have friends who are pretty conservative, and to be honest I think I can see where they're coming from on a lot of things. They're not all insane. They're also capable of talking about things other than politics, and we tend to focus on those things rather than political arguments.

how is the store manager going to help? It wasn't a store employee. He can't control how customers act. He's not likely to ban the guy for the activity, as creepy as it was. Writing to her local paper would be similarly useless. At least Dan has a multi-national audience.

oh my god, i graduated high school in 1999. holy shit, I'm old. holy shit this guy's young.

I still have those feelings as an adult, that I should pretend everything is fine because otherwise I might upset others. And I got the "SMILE" command often, sigh.

I have a couple of in-laws like that. I do my best to avoid them if I can.

I think the goal is sometimes to get ANY attention, not necessarily positive. Even if she replies with "fuck off, dirtbag," guess what, he wins because he got her attention.

Yeah, I can see a bit of where they're coming from. The us vs. them mentality from both sides isn't helping. To kind of follow up on what you're saying, I found this article interesting: http://www.cracked.com/blog…

I've heard the term "enthusiastic consent" and I think that might be what you're looking for. The person needs to not just say they're interested in sex, but then actually, physically agree to sex. Like not say "okay" but then appear uninterested or distracted when you actually start doing physical stuff.

agreed. To me, BDSM does not include choking. It means tying up, perhaps blindfolding, perhaps some mild spanking or something. Choking is pretty hardcore, especially for your first time trying it out with a new partner. Both participants need to agree on their definitions and boundaries.

It seems like a complete waste of time, unless one or both of you actually regrets breaking up. You broke up. Presumably you had a discussion about why that happened when you broke up? Going back over it is probably just going to result in one or both of you being either pissed or sad.

Agreed with this. It seems like it'll be overall better for your general mental health and well-being if you just aren't confronted with reminders of his existence.

So many advice columns would be out of business if people just actually talked to their spouses (or whatever other person they're having an issue with) instead of asking an advice columnist what they think.