Mom: Okay Derrick, make sure you’re washed up before dinner.

being lectured by someone who wasn’t even playing wasn’t received favorably.

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

Liberal academic elites, with their PhDs and whatnot. Just Gauling.

The same wind that prevented Baez’s HR from leaving the park (which it def. would have if it occurred earlier in the game) prevented Posey’s hit from becoming a HR.

No one cares about your academic scholarship, nerd. We’re talking about serious issues here, like kids buying school supplies in a grey area of rules set by a paternalistic, byzantine organization.

Playing college football is a privilege, not a right. If you can’t have the integrity to avoid illegally purchasing pencils for school, then you can’t be trusted to risk your long term health for the profit of your institution.

The squamous parasite steering him must be protruding its snorkel-like appendage for air.

TRUMP: America is a hellhole. Currently one of the worst countries on Earth. Only I can make it great again.

I eschewed “purple” just as I did the far more ostentatious Cirrus - Vive La Différence!

Rumor has it she’s partial to Porsche.

My highest sports fan aspiration is for the next Warriors/Heat matchup to produce the following headline:

*Mexico City Gaucho’s CF scales wall to rob a would-be homer*

He deliberately prevented impoverished minorities under his governance from recieving food aid, while providing it to white people.

Listening to Kasich talk about the blacks like:

I mean not to get hyperbolic but we’re now basically the best team in the league.

I could’ve told you this months ago. Me and my 15 year old friends only use Snap Chat to talk.

But it’s been a great week for guys who have killed and were on your fantasy team in 2010 (see: Harrison, Marvin).

Ding Dang Call-Your-Momma-The-House-is-on-Fire Mean Keen Green Beans with Cherry Fuck-You Sauce for Dippin’™