Reading this almost makes up for the fact that Comcast’s shitty DVR box decided to stop recording after the bottom of the 7th.

The final evolution of Baez-god is going to be amazing to behold. He cut his strikeout rate in half this season while getting nearly a full seasons worth of at bats spread across 5 positions on the diamond. You know Maddon has some ultra crazy scheme like teaching Baez a cutter and switching him between pitcher and…

As a cubs fan I’m thrilled we won’t see him again this year. That was a masterful performance and I’m jealous giants fans get to watch him work regularly.

I’d buy his jersey and sign up for redzone or whatever if that happened.

I have my doubts about Downey. Remember he’s the guy who was leaking these same kind of secrets on various web forums. I would imagine if you had secrets of this type to hide you wouldn’t go anywhere near this. Also, just because he made a movie with Haim doesn’t mean he’s the only famous actor Haim spent time with in…

I will never go broke underestimating the stupidity of your average NFL fan.

The average NFL fan understands, what, 25% of what’s happening on the field at any given time? Football is far too complicated for these people. If the Wide Receiver blows his route because of [complicated football reason] and drops a pass are fans going to notice? I doubt it. They’ll just call him a bum, or worse,…

It's a good thing people this sensitive have blanket license to harass and murder the people complaining about this very fact.

And they succeeded! They not only got me to stop watching this stupid, shitty game, but I now actively loathe the institution and its fans. And this is coming from someone who was born on a reservation but wore a Washington jacket for the entirety of grade school. They’ve helped me come a long way, baby.

Felix didn’t do it, so I’ll recommend following @cushbomb, @willmenaker, @CHAPOTRAPHOUSE, and, uh, @mattytalks

Yes, this was the greatest tweet ever. They should have just shut down the goddamn site afterwards.

I feel like this whole thing was a long sub-tweet slam of Dave Weigel.

I remember being dumbfounded that he was bad. I was like 8 but he looked so cool and was related to Mark fucking McGwire, how could he be so shitty!?! My even tenuous connection to this cancerous tumor of suck ended when, at the one live game I went to, a morbidly obese man from Puyallup screamed obsceneties at Rick…

In Portland you don’t, because you’re sleeping off the hangover you earned watching the Ducks game.

The first day of football season in the Pacific Northwest is one of the truly great days of the year. It’s always nice out, it’s still kind of warm, and for one blissful day, all the fucking idiot SeaChicken fans are sequestered from the rest of society at whatever boob and beer restaurant is throwing a kickoff party.…

This happened to me at a Sears. I tried really hard to not seem smug but probably failed a little.

This is good kinja.

Joey Harrington was good and the Lions just straight up broke him as a person.

I feel like we’re skipping over the obvious answer that they get punched in the head professionally. Sometimes answers are that easy.

The Rush 2 Jump Level! I wasted over a year of my life, roughly the second half of my junior year and first half of senior year of college, getting high on my friends couch and mastering the tricky jumps. There were no points or rewards or anything, it was the perfect game for hanging out. I don’t think I ever played…