Worse still is that one friend who can’t stop writing like Simmons, you can spot him by the overuse of the word “pantheon” in every other e-mail. I still like him better than people who try to write like Magary and can’t stop saying “hot take” and “butthurt”.

This guy is the obvious choice. He represents ESPN’s viewership perfectly.

Update: Dallas Cowboys sign Quincy Butler, DB, to 3 year fully guaranteed contract.

Dallas has a full time coach specializing in handcuffed blocking.

I think Noah won two National Championships at Florida, but am too lazy to look it up.

I’ve never been to Ohio, do Playoff tickets cost more or less than tattoos?

True, we know him by his trail of dead. I was going to accuse him of failing upward but not sure what the Liberty are a step up from.

I hope there is a player named Lunesta on the Liberty just to make things awkward for him. Although I highly doubt he’s capable of feeling awkward.

That’s excellent. I’ve been thinking Isiah was Dolan’s V Stiviano, when in reality he’s Costanza.

I think he actually believes these lies. He would make an amazing serial killer.

You’re going to love when Dolan insists on drafting “the kid from duke” with the first overall pick only to find out he meant Rasheed Sulomain.

“The 50 year old male that was taken to the hospital wasn’t me, it was my 16 year old daughter” is barely in the Top 10 of the Crazy Ass Isiah Lies List.

Isaiah is Dolan’s V Stiviano, if he didn’t get this job he would have released the tapes/pictures/whatever he has on Guitar Jimmy.

They wouldn’t give refunds, at worst they’d give a credit for a future pre-season game. As far as “bigger, better” stadiums you clearly haven’t been to MetLife Stadium, a stadium that proves just how little the NFL cares about people who actually go to games. It’s all about tv money, the only people who care about…

The NFL would be happy to play a game in front of an empty stadium, in fact they’d probably prefer it. They’d market the hell out of it, put it in prime time, jack up the commercial prices and sit back and collect the money. They don’t give a flying f*** about people going to their games, if they did there wouldn’t be…

This would me much more plausible if Ryan just happened to be on Bourbon Street.

Dolan is also insisting the Knicks draft “that kid from Duke”. Welcome to New York Rasheed Sulaimon!

I’d like to take this time to thank whoever is in charge of all those celebrity photo leaks for not releasing the pictures of Dolan and Isaiah which clearly must exist.

I like when they morph into one and form a talented actress.

I remember that being a 4 man draft and the Giants reluctantly taking One-Eyed Willie 5th. Unfortunately the Giants never take LB’s in the first, maybe if they had they could have changed history, remained undefeated in SB’s and saved a few lives in the process.