Oh come the fuck on! Get a Schott and wear it into the ground like any respectable well-heeled rebel. This jacket is fucking ridiculous. At least roll around in that leather so it looks like you wore it even once before that night. GODS THAT'S BAD.

Hey, look, it's my 10th grade Global History notebook.

"Because I would hate and resent them."

I'm a parent. I did not have kids because I thought it was the right thing to do for the world. I had kids because I wanted them. It's probably the most selfish thing I ever did. Now that they are here I do unselfish things for them. But the having of them was definitely all for me.

I got to watch an ad to open the post AND an ad to watch the clip! Double fun!

That last Rodgers tweet was directed at Lance Briggs, who retweeted a Rodgers' "Go Badgers" tweet, bringing up that Rodgers went to Cal and (assumingly) he can't root for Wisconsin. Good thing Briggs also threw in a "#BearDown" to draw attention to this exchange to show that Rodgers can embarrass Bears defensive…

A. Burneko, I have Foodspin bookmarked just so I can read your great articles even though I fail at cooking. This is really embarrassing because im a 27 year old adult , but I don't really know how to cook/prepare any types of meat. I've been a vegetarian since like 3rd grade but I don't know how I didn't at least…

If you're already using Stove Top, can't you use a jar of gravy, too?

Brutal. There must have been a tiny part of your brain that was screaming 'NONONONONONONONONONONO!" as is swirled down the drain, but it couldn't scream loud enough.

No. The joke-that-isn't-really-a-joke is that stadiums for the 2022 World Cup have been built using slave labor and 1000's have died. That's actually the truth, though. Seriously, FIFA is genuinely evil.

I'd imagine human slavery would break some sort of Federal statute, too.

If you're intent on doing stuffing, I'd put the stuffing under the chicken, rather than in it. Just to be sure you don't have to cook the chicken any longer than necessary, and so you can use its body cavity for lemons and garlic and thyme. The stuffing will absorb lots of liquid from the chicken, the way the onions…

As many of my gray brethren have said, the best way to roast a chicken is to spatchcock it to remove the back bone. I've meet a lot of people in life and none of them have said that the back is their favorite part of the chicken. Just get a good pair of chicken shears and remove the back. This actually accomplishes…

I used to have a job roasting chickens at a market to make chicken salad. I typically cooked 16 a day.

As far as breaking down in the kitchen over a chicken while sleep-deprived, here's my story. A few years ago I was taking care of my wife who had just gotten home from the hospital from a life-threatening (but fortunately totally curable) infection and my kids had relatively minor health stuff going on at the time…

I think you get more mileage out of the lemon by using the half that you don't put inside the cavity under the skin. Specifically, slice it very thin and then slide the lemon slices under the skin over the whole breast. That way you get the lemon herb essence through every part of the bird, especially the crispy skin…

Your approach to roasting a chicken sounds great Albert but I'm always going to prefer gathering together its dearest friends and closest colleagues to crack wise about the chicken's romantic indiscretions.

Thank you, not sure how I missed that.

Apparently the DA declined to file charges