On behalf of all the ladies in these stories... Sorry guys. Sometimes we are really rough on you. Please accept this humiliating story of my own as a peace offering:

You are just the worst. Please get over yourself.

^My inner goddess will cap yours in the face if you don't shut the fuck up^

On Glasses (Don't wear them, obvi)

Melinda's story: Good job owner, poo poo on you Mr. Manager.