I dunno guys I’m just thankful we didn’t end up with that AWFUL woman with her EXTREMELY conflict-filled AAA-rated life-saving CHARITY as president though, right?

Every headline relating to Trump is like reading an Onion headline out of context. You do a double take, read it again, and then you realize it’s a joke.

Except it’s not, and then you just scream internally forever.

At this point, I honestly don’t even know what to say- there’s just no words to express the absolute insanity of what we are witnessing. There isn’t a single touchpoint I can reference to provide parallel or precedence. Can’t yell “1984" or “It Can’t Happen Here”, because even those seem to be set in some sort of…

can you imagine what that’s like? Going online, making friends with all the other conspiracy nuts? Now all of his friends think he’s part of a false flag operation? That’s gotta hurt.

Apparently Alex Jones is now saying that this was some sort of fake event staged by Hillary’s people.

It’s all about his economic insecurity and feelings of cultural neglect! She should have tried harder to understand him.

I’m sure all that cab driver needed was to be heard and then, maybe, given a hug after he let out all the hate that he’s been holding on to for all this time. And really, isn’t this whole ordeal actually her fault for being so self-evidently Othered in his presence? She’s out here winning elections and taking offices…

To put it in more optimistic terms, we ARE winning the war against equality!

It’s basically just shit all the way down, isn’t it? He just keeps going and going and going and each choice is worse than the last one.

small businesses around america say they need help to survive in an increasingly hostile business environment, but let me ask my small business owner friends this: why haven’t you injected your employees with steroids and forced them to battle each other on top of ladders while wearing thongs?

This was just straight up purchased.

“These two members of the Trump Administration were hit with the Stone Cold Stunner” will be a Jeopardy question in twenty years.

I believe that love IS the answer ... but not the kind of passive, feel-good, saccharine platitudes and symbolic kind deeds that Van Jones seems to be talking about. The kind of love that we need is challenging and revolutionary and ACTIVE, and it isn’t the same thing as simple niceness.

I see no reason to give shitstains like this the benefit of the doubt. They had a chance. And they voted for Trump. That was their chance and they fucked it up.

Paging Dr. Goebbels.

How about Mark Burnett stages the inauguration as a mashup of his programs? Trump is dropped into an actual shark tank that’s on a desert island and he screams until his voice is gone and we see if he’s a survivor.

“I want this to be a series of shows from the eyes of leaders of nations about their countries,” adding: “not through the lens of a news organization.”

Confusing cynicism with sophistication will be the death of democracy. We’ve been at it for longer than I’ve been alive.

Because we actually know for certain where Trump’s financial interests lie thanks to his voluminous and transparent financial disclosu - wait, what? Oh, we don’t? Oh.

“On the flip side, at least the press and political opposition will find it easy to police Mr. Trump’s business conflicts compared with many other conflicts that presidents are heir to.”