Danger 5 always deserves a star and a sensible chuckle.

Nah.

I’m convinced that Taylor is going to keep dating people until all of their initials spell out some sort of coded message about her asking for someone to rescue her from the grasps of the Illuminati.

Are you experiencing any other symptoms? Like, does this make sense right now:

She’s from Australia. I would fuck her. As I said she is from Australia and you have to think about what that means: she is Australian. I would, in fact, fuck her.

I’d say it’s real and they are actively fucking with y’all because why not. People are going to talk shit either way so you might as well enjoy it

“Was it hard to “do it”?” I whispered gently salivating into my children’s portioned French toast.

I read this and was like, yeah that sounds about right.

(which is named Fountainhead, yikes)

As much I hate to admit it. She has some points. Feminism has caused women to be unhappy because we’re actively ignoring some of the fundamental differences between men and women. Now before you beer guzzling, gas pumping, plant eating lesbians jump down my throat-hear me out!

Rita Ora has been hospitalized for exhaustion.

What a piece of shit. Requiring a woman to bury or cremate a fetus?? That's beyond fucked up.

If the FDA would like to recommend a better way to eat my feelings I’d love to hear it.

.

hey FDA- FUCK YOU. i’ve eaten about 1,00,000 pounds of raw cookie dough and i’m still standing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t recognize half the names on this Dirt Bag.

I always have to laugh at the type of response that amounts to “x group are crybabies that can’t handle shit” and meanwhile can’t see how ridiculous it is that they are so upset and aggrieved over the issue/ change themselves. So, you are a little crybaby bitch, too, right? Like if the name is such an unimportant,…

Never heard of Tim Tams but now I’m desperate to put one in my mouth.