OMFG this. I am so sick of those nasty yellow pieces of shit on my feed.

Clearly, the next step is to re-create Three Wolf Moon with body painted people.

“Rape on campuses isn’t always because people are rapists.”

I have a 21-year-old son. He is my favourite thing on earth. I would take a bullet for him, a thousand times.

I have to say, “He no longer enjoys a ribeye” is not a rape defense I saw coming.

There’s a difference between “being on his side” and “being a narcissistic arsonist who just dumped napalm on a fire that was about to go out.”

Um, maybe he should meet the father of the girl his son raped and then let's see who feels like this is a fair verdict.

But how!?!???? Almost like you are responsible for your own actions!?!??

That’s all the son thinks he did wrong too. He blames binge drinking and sexual promiscuity. Wonder where he got that.

I drank a shit ton of wine last night and I managed not to rape anyone.

I’m just glad we can finally focus on the real victim, his dad’s stash of pretzels.

In Standhope’s defense, I’ve seen him do some very poignant, moving and brutally honest bits. Surprising, given the circumstances I know, but he did a bit about his ex-wife and his deciding to have an abortion that brought me to laughter-tears.

Mr. or Ms. Twizzler has figured out the secret of our Borg-like Jewish Hive Mind! He knows we are all connected! Initiate Plan Aleph!

Oh, well, if the only Jews you know are wealthy, I must be too.

“What he’s looking for is the Spanish Inquisition,...”

I love it when people claim a blog feed on a social network is interchangeable with there “life.”

comparing one of the two candidates in an undecided democratic primary to third-party general election candidate Ralph Nader is pretty ridiculous

Yeah stupid fucking entitled millenials always asking for pie-in-the-sky bullshit like “not having to go into a lifetime of debt to get a job” and “being able to survive without having to work 70 hours a week.” They should get out there, get off iNstagram, and be born in the 60s like the rest of us.

Curt Schilling? Is that you?

One of my favorite lines: “Morning Joe…Morning Joe has its head so up Trump’s ass they bumped into Chris Christie.”