Well, Betsy is busy curating her collection of children’s tears and Ben Carson accidentally trapped himself in a street mime’s invisible box. Here is Trump mistakenly addressing Bannon’s “exoskeleton” for 10 minutes.

If no one at tomorrow’s staff meeting is supportive of us all touching a glowing orb to kick off the week, I’m going to be so mad.

You know those stupid dealership giveaways where people whoever can touch/hug/kiss/lick/grope a car the longest wins it?

On the same weekend as record-breaking arms deal, Saudis announced donations to Ivanka’s fund. Yeah, buddy.

“I have the best thugs.”

I’ll bet you Donald is talking with the director of the Secret Service to see if he can do that too.

Two Corinthians, one cup.

Who hasn’t heard of Morningside! It is a noble institution and share the same grounds and Hollywood Upstairs Medical College!

Clovis, who currently serves as the USDA’s senior White House advisor, was formerly a Trump campaign advisor, and is reportedly responsible for recruiting Carter Page, the energy industry consultant with ties to the Trump campaign who was investigated last year by the FISA court on suspicions that he was a foreign…

Well Trump’s cabinet does resemble the Ministry of Magic gone bad.

Is that Harry Potter’s muggle uncle?

But you kept talking to her?

The actor is obviously Jeff Goldblum

“I am very good at cumming fast and in the presence of strangers.”

I watched her speak today. She looked poised, made self-deprecating jokes, referenced facts, and used words above a 3rd grade reading level.

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

I know its supposed to be pronounced “fire”, but i keep reading it as “fry”. Then i get confused/hopeful that this was a french fry festival and wonder how they would fuck that up.

I’m sorry 😐

I just wish my friend in grade school who was Mormon and died of leukemia at 9-and-a-half had made better choices. Smh.

Silly, that’s what the death panels are for.