Under the League's understanding of what constitutes alcohol and marijuana abuse, I've been a raging junky unfit for work since I was seventeen years old.

Psshhh-not even the best pizza snack mom fake commercial THIS WEEK:

[Roger Goodell storms into NFL office, throws blonde wig at deputy commissioner]

"I once worked at the ad agency that created the "Wanta Fanta" jingle for Fanta soda"

Now we know the inspiration for "Every Day Is A Winding Road."

FWIW, the Jeter argument was made in our chat room, not on the site—and by that point I was actively antagonizing Drew.

Angering Drew enough to get him to write this, even though it physically pained him? I regret nothing.

"Monsoon season has officially started."

"So that's the way it is in their family."

"I'm ready to play the biggest game of my life," Brady texted a former teammate before kickoff.

"Sold!"

You had me at 350lb Big Fat Moms.....

"I ain't touching that one."

Guy Who Shouts "Get in the hole!" Before Every shot: [goes to the bathroom as Molinari walks to the tee box]

Okay guys, I know a large percentage of us never read the linked articles on these posts, but seriously, drop whatever or whoever you are doing and go read that story. Lund does the damn thing here.

LUND: But what about all the field work I did?

Now he can go back to drawing pictures of mountaintops with him on top.