I actually enjoyed my first and only time serving on a jury, though it made me painfully aware that a jury of my peers is not who I want judging me. I thought the whole process was entirely interesting, though my fellow jurors were dumb as rocks. The whole thing ended up having to be retried because one of the jurors…

You’re not the only one

I dunno, given that the heat index is going to be somewhere between 105 and 110 tomorrow, I have to say that I really love the idea of a dress that just lightly sits on my shoulders and touches no other part of my body. Some of these are even kind of cute. I said it.

why do my clothes have to be “flattering?”

Plus this one:

TSA would never allow it, considering the number of movies that bomb at the box office anymore.

I’ll see myself out.

“I don’t follow college sports.”

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

This post comes from a place of love and if you don’t get it:

Is there an open bar? Leaving while there’s still booze to drink is just impractical. Plus, the good stuff doesn’t happen until halfway through, and if you want good shit to lord over your frenemy, it’s going to happen after she’s hammered.

I can’t believe he said he got beaten up outside The Abbey which is in like the most gay friendly neighborhood ever. Like so gay friendly this donut shop there got shut down within a month bc someone overheard the owner making homophobic remarks.

No. It’s a shitty thing to say. Some people can’t even help it, sometimes it’s just genetics.

I fucking hate this shit. We all know from the media she’s lived pretty hard and while that can alter skin, teeth, wrinkles, etc, like I hate the “She looks older than (age)“ comments because like, “HOW OLD IS THIRTY SUPPOSED TO LOOK?” If you lined up me and five of my girlfriends, all of who are 30 years old, we all…

But the thing is, saying, “Well, even if it isn’t true it’s the sort of thing they’d do” is what Hillary has had to put up with for twenty-five years. Benghazi, Vince Foster, crackpipe Christmas decorations, flinging heavy objects at Secret Service people, secret email servers that leaked information to China,…

hard to write when ur friend is stuck in the barney

I was once casually dating a guy and he showed me a nude pic of another girl he was dating. I was non-monogamous, so I wasn’t upset personally (it helped that I’m prettier than her, not gonna lie) but I was so fucking pissed *for* her. He could not get it through his head. First he tried the “it’s a sexy picture, I…

“But I kinda feel like a guy who takes a pic of his girlfriend is less likely to be like, Dude, look at this pic of my girl I took on my bed.”

I refuse to take pictures of myself. I trust my boyfriend implicitly, but I would be too worried of my phone getting stolen / hacked. Also, just from a philosophical standpoint, no “courting” activity better sums up the double standard between men and women. Men send dick pics without being asked, “showing off” what…

Hey Bobby-