Unfortunately, my dark mind just went to the scene of Brando as the Godfather, playing in the tomato garden with his grandson...

They worried that this was big government telling people what to feed their kids.

Same. This is why I have a hard time with biopics of very famous people played by similarly well-known actors. Julia Roberts as Erin Brokovich worked because no one knew what Erin Brokovich really looked like, and Straight Outta Compton worked because nobody knew who the actors were. But with Natalie Portman as Jackie…

This happened at 2am, Tuesday morning: my son and one of his roommates were walking on campus, talking and listening to music, with no classes on Tuesday. Another young man ran up to them, motioning to the bushes, where they found a young woman passed out and a naked dorm mate crouched by her. Naked guy pulls up his…

No it wasn’t. There is no Alicia Machado sex tape. That’s the worst part. Trump libeling her is the worst part.

I love this because I imagine that he was just tossing and turning in bed seething about this and then finally leaped up, cast aside his absurdly long stocking cap, and tweeted this out before collapsing back into bed.

my worst Miss U.

I have yet to receive a satisfactory answer on what the theoretical endgame is of her alleged becoming-president-while-dying conspiracy.

Some people are saying that the Dalai Lama wasn’t even born in China. Some of our best people are saying that.

“I’ve never met this Dalai Lama... funny name, am I right? (syncophants laugh). Who names their kid ‘Dalai’? What kinda name is ‘Dalai.’ Sounds kinda womanly, right? I suppose I shouldn’t say that to be ‘politically correct.’ But this guy... always bowing, always bowing down to people. I like spiritual leaders who…

When the religious leader most associated with universal compassion mocks you, it’s time to take a look at your life choices.

This hater and loser hasn’t even met Donald Trump, doesn’t even have a country anymore. Wasn’t able to negotiate a good deal with China. Sad!

My first impulse whenever someone says they had an experience like yours is to pick it apart and try to demonstrate how they were conned. I can’t stomach the idea of “mediums” bilking vulnerable and grieving people and that seems like a way to inoculate people against falling victim.

But Parker himself didn’t say stop so, by his own logic, not only should the journalist kept going, he should have invited two other journalists into the room to keep asking the same question.

Because the appearance of impropriety in a woman is more of a threat than actual evidence of impropriety in a man. This is known.

Yeah, Brendan’s headline is coming from the Matt Lauer School of Reporting.

So am I the only one who interprets these emails as two people just trying to figure out what the rules are?

Why would you think she’s corrupt? It’s a smear the RNC has been working on for 30 years. The Clinton Foundation is a charity. They don’t personally benefit from it except possibly by reputation.

Why is it so hard to understand that if you prevent a pregnancy, you prevent an abortion.

I have always assumed what he has in mind is basically just levying tariffs to offset the cost of the wall. He just basically taxes the shit out of anything imported from Mexico. Short of literal invasion (which I absolutely would not put past him don't get me wrong) that's the only possible way that could make sense.…