My son (17) calls those “Air Pedos”. They are a favorite of the “my 2001 vette only has 8900 miles on it, it’s one of only 74 made that hour with... blah, blah, blah, and you are ruining yours by driving it on the track and never washing it. I buff mine with a diaper...” guy

Way to typecast yourself Noah. Now you’re only going to get roles as the guy who throws things.

Less impressive than Chris Bosh’s cameo:

I bought my stock, lower mileage, clean title S2000 for the same money. This is too much, drop it to $6k & we can talk.

Why not just mix all the condiments and vegetation into the ground beef? While you’re at it just shred the bun and mix that in too.

Whoa whoa whoa, Michael. Settle down.

I’d also point out that you’re making your hot dogs all wrong. First you open the bun, add the condiments you want. Then you add the dog on top of the condiments. The dog keeps the mustard and relish in the bun and off your shirt.

And risk damnation? I think not.

Perhaps we could just put the meat, seasoning, cheese, condiments, and bun into a food processor for you, add liquid, and let you drink your burger amalgamation through a straw. Ya freak.

Counterpoint: Fuck you, Chris.

Sam Hinkie has got nothing on Beane.

One thing I’ve always wondered is why a certain very common type of internet commenter is so fixated on group masturbation rituals.

1. Because there is no law stating you have to stand for the anthem.

plus soccer stadiums

That’s not a real accurate statistic to use in this context. It includes kids that died in their crib, at age 5, 10, 15, etc. We’re talking about how football has effected his life. What’s the life expectancy of a world class 20 year old athlete who doesn’t spend his 20s and 30s playing professional football? What…

Maybe. But these stories of used up brain damaged men affect me more. Just wait until the next generation ages. They played in an era of much bigger and much faster men.

As scarred as Plunkett is, he says he wants the NFL to do what it can to start making football safer so the sport doesn’t disappear.

10. Marchman’s bad take about how real ballpersons would only involve themselves with Uruguayan hackysack or whatever pretentious ‘sport’.

Ball people are usually teenagers so I’d go with the Deadspinners who look most like teens.

Due to his poor result, Billy was relegated to ballboying the Utica Open.