“Anaheim Ballsacs GOOOOOOOOOALLLL - scored by number ten, Corey Perry!”

I seriously don’t understand the appeal of this sport. Yeah I know get off my lawn and all that but still

She should have gone full Medvedev with the “YOU shut your fuck up.”

They look like they were made using Microsoft Word 1997's WordArt tool.

Mine would take a shot of tequila and a slug of pickle juice most mornings. He’d also frequently miss with his drill and gore his hand, or smash it with his hammer. He bandaged himself with duct tape. He also let me drive his stick shift pickup, on the highway, at age 10. We didn’t live in the country.

Watching local high school sports is such a grandpa move. Those professionals are too showy!

My grandpa is 95 years old and still lives on his own, out in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska.

The number of odd/disgusting things eaten by my Polish grandfather are too long to list in a tweet. Lots of pickled fish of unknown origin.

Happy to oblige. Forgot to mention: my Pop-Pop dubbed her Bessie, and she is my beautiful perfect girl.

Alright, buckle up for a Shakespearean epic that I promise will be worth your while.

mid-major damages

Unbelievable...for those who don’t follow America East Conference hoops (which I assume is virtually everyone)...UMBC’s very presence in the tournament was a huge long-shot. Conference powerhouse Vermont went 15-1 in league play and cruised through the conference tournament to set up a meeting with UMBC for a trip to…

“It’s EOVER”

motherfucking shit ass fuck bracket fuck ass cunt fuck

Take your god damn star you glorious bastard.

Only five 16-vs-1 games have ever had a final score within five points in NCAA tournament history.

Thomas Jefferson must be rolling over in his slave.

The fact that your reply is itself nonsensical grammatically makes me very happy

So.... fuck Pong?

As an aside, my ex used to leak in the booth at Applebee’s, from laughter, when I would put the menu on my head and pretend to be the Flying Nun...