Inauguration day is my late father-in-law’s birthday. He would have been 72. So Mrs. Funk, her mother, and I will be doing what he would have wanted us to do: Getting shitfaced drunk, listening to Al Green, and not watching the inauguration.

PEEOTUS

.... the Aristocrats!

Real reasons intelligence agencies don’t show everyone the evidence:

Now she can walk around the White House trying on Michelle’s discarded gowns and high-heels, whispering the theme song to Miss Universe and writing down names on her little moleskin notebook.

I’m sorry to hear it. It’s all so awful, isn’t it? I mean, I know “LIFE” and all, but still.

Cold War 2: China Boogaloo

Molly Ringwald can help you with that.

Perseverate.

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He’s already getting one of those. It’s called the inauguration.

You know what, Hillary is wealthy, white and well-connected, barring nuclear war, she’s going to weather the next 4 (of please god not 8) years perfectly fine and I don’t begrudge her one second of it. She’s dedicated her life to public service and all she’s gotten in return is steaming pile after steaming pile of…

It’s pronounced “Gi-na.”

Oh yeah! My bad. She’s a self-made mutant, that’s for sure.

2016 strikes a-fucking-gain.

You spelled Melania wrong.

 
Prime Minister Muhammad Nawaz Sharif called President-elect USA Donald Trump and fellatiated him on his victory.

No, she didn’t. That’s complete bullshit. Why aren’t you asking why the republicans refused request for addition security funding for embassies? Why aren’t you talking about the 60+ people killed during the /multiple/ embassy attacks during Bush II’s administration? Because you’re a shill, that’s why. Either that or a…

Usually bald eagles.

JFC. I don’t like most people. But if they have something important or worthwhile to say I’m not going to turn them off because I think they’re smug.