"Don't waste it on your girlfriend, throw it through the window of a minority-owned business."

Meanwhile, Browns scouts asked Bortles how many things he could to do to his girlfriend with a brick.

Interviewer: Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of paper clips?

If you straighten out the paperclip, and stick it in the tiny hole on the West side of FirstEnergy Stadium, it will reset the Browns and they can start from scratch.

A brick will help conserve water while the Browns season is being flushed down the toilet.

I agree. Being able to go his entire life the way he did without ever siring any children shows he really knows how to hit the glove.

Khruschev to Incognito: "We will bury you!"

Cough cough.

I'm sure his attitude has been like "how could I possibly damage the Sharper image any more?" But this is just taking things too far.

He comes off like he is trying to keep up with the unending stream of crude sexism coming from Incognito, in an attempt to fit in. You can tell he is nowhere near Incognito's league in terms of crudeness, but wants to be treated like he is one of the homies.

Because he uses "bitch" and "pussy"?

Incognito, to Martin, "The truth will bury you."
Incognito, to Belgian waffles, "The maple syrup will bury you."
Incognito, to chicken-fried steak, "The mushroom gravy will bury you."
Incognito, to himself, "The obscenely high BMI will bury you."

Ahh, "context." Because doing any of these things would be fine as long as other people in other locker rooms are doing them.

Dude... you ever smell banana oil... on weeeed?

Despite not being in any sort of physical danger, Zimmerman still plans to shoot DMX.

Interesting. Thanks for that.

But I'd think the Anti-Discrimination statement would be a bit more important.

DON'T WORRY WHITE PEOPLE!

Idris!!!! And look, he's posing with a woman over age 40! (Not a Julia fan, but you can't have everything.)

How are the terrorists going to find anything to blow up? Threat avoided, mission accomplished.

"She blew him up like the car bomb that took out Dylan McKay's father in season three of 90210." ——- Bill Simmons