One time I cut up habanero and jalapeno peppers for salsa, then reverted back to normal activities without treating my hands. At some point, I decided it was time to masturbate. I didn’t think things through.

Glad to see this isn’t another athlete with a fractured sense of entitlement.

*Flings bat at Ji Man Choi*

DudeYerGettinADelmon - “mistook that asian boy for a white folk by b”

More months in jail than Cardinal losses this season? That is a HEAVY sentence (cuz they stink).

Colbert doesn’t get enough love for how good his Late Show is. My god, he is so much better than Letterman.

Noah hit the nail on the head here. Fkn rekt. Weak ass response from Kelly too. She got called out for her BS and has no better response than “Well you’re a man!”.

This is a nice follow-up kick in the balls to poor OKC fans. God, how sore their balls must be.

I skipped through that video and it was one of the most awkward things I have ever seen. Internet writers you are.

I do not really understand this BS “Oh... I was worried for my job!” excuse by these assistant coaches for why they were not more proactive in their followups after reporting what they had seen. If it was me, I can honestly say that, besides the imminent and irreparable guilt that I would have from not following up…

Good for Stammer. In the modern NHL, every elite player eventually has to choose between making marginally more money on the free agency market, or taking less money to stay with the team that drafted them. I think Stamkos saw how this worked out for Crosby and knew what he had to do. The Lightning are set up to be…

People like you are the reason Deadspin thinks it has to post a video of 60 yr old Hulk Hogan having sex. You are the reason Deadspin is closing!

As a Rays fan who got to enjoy Maddon’s managerial Godliness for several years, it was sad to have to watch Joe’s creative prowess get so limited by American League rules. Seeing him thrive in the National League is like watching an elephant in captivity be released back into the wild. He belongs there.

Other recent Deadspin headlines:

I definitely do not prefer it myself, but nowadays it is very hard to find a group of reasonable humans to play organized sports with. Unless you are willing to pay ridiculous league fees to pay refs that have no clue how to ref, a lot of us have to settle for the testosterone driven pickup games connected to LA…

But I bet you still haven’t managed to get your LA Fitness membership cancelled!

I agree with the racist guy above me who said you play at weaksauce courts.

As a South Florida football fan, I thank Jimbo Fisher for creating these. With FSU and UCF on the schedule and being in the AAC, taking states is the biggest prize we can win in college football. #WeGonnaWinStates

FSU will lose the ring this season when they lose to USF at Raymond James Stadium.

But the miss from last year’s Copa wasn’t even his fault.....that cross was way to far for him to reasonably reach.

This is, sadly, perfectly representative of Spain’s view on its impending financial disaster.