I like that he revealed himself for who he really is, because I’ve been tired from his smug, shit-eating grin from jump. Like, you are not as pretty as you think you are.

Or a dachshund? Or anything other than a golden retriever?

But tbh a lot of dog training and “kid training” theory is almost exactly the same.

The whole I didn’t have kids for me, I did it for them. *pffffft*

I read that linked article on Friday and OMG, the smugness and superiority of the author just pissed me right the fuck off. Like, REALLY? It just seemed like s/he (and some of the commenters) desperately need their designation as “real” parents as some kind of status symbol, because who on the planet could possibly be…

Why the negative energy? He only wants to inspire people.

Miserable invasive creeps.

OMG

Even better: “Children’s wellbeing needs to be top priority. If these animal lovers saw a bunny rabbit and a child drowning in the Icelandic sea, they would save the bunny rabbit and feed the child to a killer whale”!!!

Which we do, of course, because we’re inconsistent. I know that even though I believe, on a purely logical level, that my greatest allegiance has to be to my own species, on another level my heart goes out to animals in ways it never does to people. The problem comes, though, when you enshrine these kinds of feelings…

OH.MY.WORRRRRRDDDDD.

She reminds me so much of my gorgeous girl!

I used to do it to my younger siblings’ heads, too!

This is like the teens who have a baby so that someone will love them. Child, get a dog.

My best friend as a kid was a barn cat who came and went as she pleased, and as for her dinner- well, I’ll spare those details. The bond people can have with their animals is profound, and goes well beyond being able to control them.

“Perpetual obedience”? Um, as this lady ever met a cat?

I’m not sure how someone could make that mistake, honestly. I own animals for multiple reasons, but one of them is that I most certainly don’t want kids. The difference is clear, in time, stress, expense, and many other reasons.

I use the “oh I’m a pet parent!” joke excuse to deflect from the inevitable questions about why I’m not yet married with 2.4 children at the spinsterish age of 26 when I go home to my conservative town for the holidays. People usually leave me alone after that.

My dog absolutely is my baby.

Does this genius pop over to a parallel dimension for his ‘wilding out’, so as to protect countless future marriages?