“Stay tuned for a special holiday message from Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor live from the beaches of Scarif!”

Slow, echoing clap in an empty room for that headline.

Thank god they found the source of that song. I could not handle more disappointment after the mystery stuff that is a cure for baldness was never named in that call-in episode a few weeks back.

The part where he revealed that she used the correct vials despite the sabotage because she was a good nurse was such a heartwarming moment, probably my favorite moment in the entire film.

SS Spanfeller is a donkey class rigid proctoscope.

CEO Spanfeller, a G/O-class herbcraft carrier.

“It’s dumb that they just brought back Palps after not mentioning him in either of the previous movies. Like we’re supposed to believe that he was like just off-screen the entire time.”

the m45 was so yakuza cool. It was the most unapologettical Jap looking thing I can remember in my lifetime. It looked like a rolling pagoda to me except dudes in black suits could jump out at any time.

I hate this so much.

Sandra really needed to bring her weapons-grade adorable to bear in order for this movie to work. “Pretending to be a coma patient’s fiance” is a solid premise for a thriller, and this movie needs all of her charm to keep Lucy from seeming incredibly creepy.

If a single piece of food was acquired from outside the car or if anyone peed outside the vehicle, there’s room for improvement. Seems like the pinnacle would be having some of those support people waiting at the pumps to fill your tank asap. Those pit stops COMPLETELY DESTROY YOUR PACE PLEASE JUST GET BACK IN THE CAR…

[insert obligatory joke about what happened to Hopper in Season 3 of Stranger Things here]

he indicated that there was not enough budget or time to evaluate those factors

He was fine in Man from UNCLE, too. He just got stuck with the worst Superman.

Yeah but he did a thing wrong one time so he’s pretty much the worst person ever.

There ought to be one of those compound German words to describe Amazon’s Jack Ryan—something like langeweilierrregung (“boring-exciting”) or vergessbarververgnugen (“forgettable fun”).

If it’s aiming for the realism of war, the part where you abandon the rebels to be ethnically cleansed should be interesting.

Honestly, there’s even a fucking wildcard entry being driven by Rossi and Hinch this year.