“I’m just doing my job.” Now, where have we heard that before?

Everyone knows that, if you’re a football player that grows up and goes to school in Texas, that the alphabet is something you only learn if you decide to pursue a graduate degree.

I am humbled and gratified that this comment received 2,500 stars.

Goddammit why can’t Deadspin just stick to spor

Well, with all the injuries he’s had, he’s certainly not running away from basketball.

Eli, sadly, was not invited

Thanks for the input, Brian McCann.

HOT TAKE

OK, I’ll be that guy:

“Can we just admit at this point that no matter which way your political leanings go Obama has been an abject failure for your agenda”

First of all, the golf meme is getting old. I’m sure it probably came from whatever right wing propaganda you get your “news” from, but let me nip that thing in the butt: Obama took far, FAR fewer trips than GWB, Clinton, GHB, or Reagan. Its not that its a problem for a President to take a vacation: its a fucking…

Not really sure how you think doing good things makes him an abject failure?

I know some Jalops don’t want to hear it. But as someone who is old enough to remember the brown clouds and inversions from the 70's and 80's anything that slows Trump from being able to allow automakers to sell guzzling spewers without checks or balances is completely alright with me.

If he doesn’t clean up his act soon, he’s flirting with a multi-game suspension.

Really, this is not self-deprecation, it is called “living in Ohio”.

This is certainly not a statistically representative sample of the military. But it is far from meaningless.

As someone who is at 5 years with no family contact (because my family are the most miserable people I’ve ever met), I say good for him. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose who you allow in your life. If those choices mean he’s happy, then more power to him.

Better yet, his girlfriend is Xenu.