I specifically asked for none of this shit but also this fails to explain anything.

Ted Cruz’s political success just absolutely baffles me.

What can I say, I love my little dudes

Sessions attacked Gavin Newsome at a presser in Sacramento this morning, and Gavin leaned in hard.

As a parent with two young kids who gets high sometimes, I would recommend waiting until they’re in bed.

Nah I looked it up - there are six states in which the law is more complicated than yes/no. In most of those cousin marriage is allowed but only if there’s some evidence (age of the woman, or proof of infertility) that they are unlikely to reproduce.

This was extremely predictable, and the kid is probably going to win.

Fair. TBH (and speaking of overthinking), that I found it funny may have a lot to do with the fact that it very nearly fooled me; I didn’t look at the photo and byline until afterward, and while the sense “this doesn’t seem on the level” was creeping up on me, it didn’t fully overtake me until the end; so for me the…

See to me that all just makes it better parody but I see what you’re saying I guess ...

Only 24 states actually ban marriage of first cousins. 20 states actually allow this!

I did see #2, which is why it was so odd to me that you nevertheless criticized this as not being recognizable! As for #1, I don’t know what to tell you man, I thought it was extremely funny.

have you considered the possibility that you don’t like coffee?

Parody/satire requires at least some semi-obvious tell that’s ridiculous enough to signal it’s a joke.

Settle down my friend. I was teasing. I suppose you could argue that you had already revealed yourself to be the kind of person who gets twisted about teasing so it was mean of me to do so but there we are.

you just gave an excellent argument for why it works so well as satire

it’s not very good parody because i can see Stephens making these same arguments

This column is peak kinja; in the future kinja extraction will gradually slow until we reach terminal kinja depletion.

I can’t say as I have ever watched the Bachelor - I think maybe, years ago when I lived with a roommate who enjoyed that sort of thing, I did - but as described, this episode is in my view merely the most hit-you-over-the-head-obvious manifestation of the core inhumanity and degradation that defines the show and,…

So the very professional lawyers at OSC gave the White House advice: Kellyanne violated the Act and you should discipline her for it. Their response was to have a PR idiot with zero legal expertise issue a public statement saying that OSC is wrong. OSC apparently can’t prosecute her in front of the disciplinary board…

And now the Spurs are going to miss the playoffs; what’s your point?