My Halloween costume this year was “James Harden, rotating to an open shooter.” I really immersed myself in the role and kinda got carried away.

I refuse to believe any of this

If you are wearing the butt plug out in public,

Also the President of the United States has no fucking idea what the word “civil” means, and kind of hilariously defended his own civility in a very uncivil way because he is a very dumb person and also is the kind of shitty goon who, if he did know what civility was, would have no goddamn use for it and would laugh…

I see today someone mashed the UNIONS! button on the HamNo6000 Longform Generator. (The other buttons are DEADLIFTS! and YOGURT!)

I don’t know how either. Like “undo Citizens United” is a fine thing to say but that ruling has a very narrow scope. And imagine you made some sweeping change like creating a public elections fund and a rule that no candidate for public office could accept or use money from any source other than the fund - so what?…

This is definitely better than the boot-licking alternative, but what would be even better still would be if he stood up and said “I am running for re-election, but as an independent. I urge all Arizonans to join me in rejecting what the GOP has come to stand for.” I don’t understand why the choice has to be only…

“But enough about IKEA - this basketball team is pretty bad too! 2/”

I was once one of those dumbass youths hiding shitty roastmanship behind bullshit claims of “liking it that way.”

But this was right there, a quick google search away.

the tomato, which has seeds, yet is not sweet

The day after Hayward’s ankle implodes in a freak accident is certainly a bold time for you to bust out your “Hayward’s not gonna make this team great” take

But here’s what a reasonable human being could have said:

Gandhi also nearly always wore spectacles later in life, whereas there are very few images of Mandela wearing glasses.

they’d finally quit biding their time and committed to a core that would pursue a championship without one foot

Which Klay Thompson is more stoned?

Young hitting those first three shitty circus shots was probably the worst thing that happened to the Warriors last night. He’ll spend the rest of the damn season thinking he’s better than Steph and shooting from fucking everywhere.

That was a bullshit flagrant and I think KD thought so too

Gandhi lived in South Africa (which, like India, borders the Indian Ocean but okay, I’ll grant that they’re pretty far apart) from age 23 to 44. It was South African racism and oppression that spurred him to political activism, and it was his work in South Africa that earned him the title Mahatma.

Wait a bunch of guys got suspended for misconduct and Sheed wasn’t one of them??????