I’ve never had the desire to spoon it in to my mouth directly.

The kinja keeps getting stronger with this one.

I am not going to chastise you for how you deal with an acknowledged anxiety disorder - the saying “whatever helps you sleep at night” is quite literally appropriate here, and I mean it genuinely. But this -

Whoever. C’mon Barry, it’s a simple he/him test.

Well, the face that Mr. Orange wears at the end is ... considerably worse:

As a public defender I can say with some confidence that your average 45-year-old male creeper looking for 10-year-olds to perv out on in public restrooms is NOT hitting up the women’s room. Next straw boogeyman please ...

I had tickets to Game 6 and really really wanted to go ... but I was terrified of a collapse and superstitious about jinxing them by rooting for a game 5 loss.

She’s already written the end of her sentencing script:

The best Bad Man Obituary I’ve seen is this scorching Steinbrenner take:

I’m disappointed to be the first false start truther

Running, unless there is a criminal, a policeman, a wild animal, a large falling object, a fire, or a sports ball/puck/disc/shuttlecock involved, is bullshit. I say this as someone who spent seven years running track and cross country.

Has Reince Priebus ever been naminated?

Final four - Buttersack, Veazy (a squeaker in the 1st round creates momentum), Smallboy, Mugabi.

The mere reminder that Wesley Willis existed just made my day.

“I went to Stanford University. I’m very highly educated. I know numbers, I have the best numbers, ...”

Two years running, on international women’s day, a group of enslaved females creates a disturbance at a major sporting event - each time involving the team whose name most closely parallels that of their oppressor. This is no coincidence.

Pictured: Mordecai Brown, in a little-known comeback bid with the Red Sox.

Once again back in the metropolis / it’s the apocalypse / the Pineapple Ex-press

We got a storm system comin’ in Tuesday, you know what I’m sayin’, and for more about that let’s go to my boys Toots and the Maytals!

If only officials at this school could somehow quickly unite in defense of a common goal, perhaps by surrounding their most vulnerable charges in some sort of circular formation ...