Oh, my God. So refreshing to hear someone say for once that human beings are monogamous, when I was expecting more rationalization of open relationships.

I’ll never be a beer drinker, really, but living briefly in Asia I found that it was usually my only real choice if I wanted something alcoholic (and sometimes just something cold that wasn’t full of sugar), and I came to appreciate an ice-cold Kirin or a Taiwan Beer on a hot winter day pretty quickly. They also go…

THIS

Are you sure it wasn’t that they couldn’t tell the difference between an expensive red and a cheap red? Because the difference between red and white is pretty basic.

Because you’re subsidizing the wimmenz having sex like men do which is NOT WHAT GOD INTENDED

Yeah, watch them try to blame it on Accutane.

I just realized that somehow the only thing I’ve ever actually seen her in (I think) was Story of Women and that I now need to go and watch her entire available oeuvre.

I’m gonna naively give her the benefit of the doubt and assume extreme shock, disbelief, and denial the first time she saw what she thought she saw.

I could see changing the Google Maps voice to male while my husband is driving, because it’s really irritating when that bitch keeps intruding on our conversation to tell him multiple times that he needs to exit the interstate, like she’s just trying to find ways to divert his attention from me.

Obviously, Siri is herself (himself?) a cat.

I don’t want a male voice for navigation because there’s something intensely irritating about having a man repeatedly and insistently give one directions that are wrong or no longer relevant because one has changed destinations.

Goddamn, that was my first thought too.

With the dime taped to the inside of your shoe (yes I am old enough to remember not only phone booths but local calls that cost 10¢.

“Ididn’t mean any slight to the person choosing sex work—I could have phrased that more clearly. I don’t think I made a better or worse choice.”

He looks...ill. The whites of his eyes are yellow.

Sitting and trying to pray in a pew in Saint-Sulpice in Paris or Grossmunster in Zurich, I found it strange that the loudest and most offensive tourists taking flash pictures always seemed to be my fellow American Christians, most likely evangelicals, braying their goddamned heads off and sauntering into areas where…

Maybe because I’m old, but I think it would be incredibly distasteful to have your picture taken at the gates of a concentration camp - selfie or conventional. Why do you need such a picture?

Yeah, we’re really only hearing one side of the story here. Is Barbara really a bitch, or is she just another woman trying to do her job and refusing to take shit from other people or give them special treatment? I’d be interested to know the gender of the letter writer, for starters.

(e.g., a sermon delivered with piano music as a backdrop)

I blame the administration. If they’d just let the kids spell out FUCK CANCER instead of that lame substitution, this wouldn’t have happened.