Does she lick her thumb and say "Adultosaur, lemme get this schmutz for you"?

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I'm really glad these toys didn't exist when I was a child because I'm pretty sure it would have taken most of my hair with it into the stratosphere.

Panda says this is a violation of his privacy.

This is unsurprising. She lived long before the Daily Mail was around to tell her which things cause and/or prevent cancer.

(SPOILER: IT'S EVERYTHING)

Don't forget 40 carrots a day! You'll be so busy pooping, you won't have time to die!

Remains of ill-fated 21st century time traveler discovered in Siberia.

You know, I could never buy into past life regression, but I think I'm feeling something here. *inhales bong hit deeply*

How do you pronounce Ukok? Is it "you cock" or "oooh cock"

Many of us believe they've already banged. Hard. Repeated. To great success.

I have to be real that I boned my husband ridiculous after watching this. Okay, not IMMEDIATELY after, but the seeds had been planted for sexy married boning.

I need an answer to this as well. I would like to think of myself as a bit of a dick connoisseur and the idea of a lobster tail shaped penis is really scary. Ditto for candy bars that are flat on the bottom and vegetable tempura. Based on this list, I have had a very lucky life.

What about those Gummy Bears shaped like penises? They look a lot like penises.

What kind of mangled dicks have you seen that remotely resemble croissants and lobster tails?

"Someday my prince will cum."

Instead, now they are planning to meet up again somewhere between Nova Scotia and Ireland.

"...due to a catastrophic birth defect."

When I moved for school, I put my stuff in storage - half at Mom's, half at Dad's, for six months, including my dildo (I know, but weird living situation, wouldn't have had privacy to use it, anyway). When I got my stuff back, I could NOT find the thing, and was terrified.. I imagined my poor dad accidentally getting…