I am doing the same thing as WHAT? I already said I can totally see how it might have been jarring for that Japanese man. I get that — totally. I wish we had had a conversation — both of us would have felt better. But that wasn't happening — he ws furious. And yes, it doesn't bother me if people think I am…

You have good manners. You communicate well — I will give you that. You would be very valuable in any workplace.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Did I say, "Yes"? YES!!!

Yeah — I don't walk up to POC or white people and demand to know there history generally. Why are you pretending I do?

If that happens in the workplace, just say, "I'm American. I'd love to talk to you about it later, but I am getting back to my presentation now." Bam. My sister lived in England for years, so, I know how that might happen.

Honestly, that is how I feel about it. I can't tell if you are serious or not. But if someone assumes something about me based on that one question — yeah, I don't appreciate it.

Again, I doubt it, since I usually wind up having conversations with people. They are usually kind of happy — and very surprised. They say, "I can't believe a white person knows about this." And I say, "My kids taught me. But they just taught me the surface and I am curious to know more." And then they tell me…

Actually, it DOES matter if I think I am being rude. If I think I am being rude and I am being rude, that is FUCKED UP. And I wonder why you assume you think an Americanized Japanese could tell the difference between Asians — maybe he could, maybe he couldn't. I, for one, did not assume I knew. I asked. The odd…

I never said here that I asked someone, "No, where are you REALLY from." Let's get that straight. However, I have asked people where their people came from — and I ask it of white people and POC. I ask if if the accent or last name doesn't tell me or if there is something about someone's face that looks familiar.

He didn't look Asian. He was Asian. Therefore, obviously I thought he *might* be Japanese and *might* know Japanese. That's not a crazy thing to think. I knew he might not be Japanese or might not know it, too. It was just a chance that I took.

You know, it just occurred to me — "What are you," in the right circumstances, does not have to be a problem. "What are you?" can mean, "What do you teach?" or "What department are you?" And the answer is English or Math or Social Studies or whatever. I guess my point is that we never know. Some people WANT to get…

You just straight up took my words, twisted them, added some of your own, and lied about me.

That is exactly what JayRice4 is saying. JayRice4, for some reason, thinks HER experience is universal whereas yours is not. Who SHE is to decide, why SHE gets to decide, I have no idea. I think your way of looking at things, bluebird420, is really healthy and productive. If it's not universal, it should be. …

You are telling Bluebird 420 that although she thinks her experience is universal, it isn't. Are you saying you think YOUR experience is universal? Is YOUR experience the RIGHT one? It sounds like you think it is. Who are you to decide?

With all the kindness that you have? From what I have seen, you have none. You don't mean that to be kind. You mean that to be insulting. You mean that to be rude. It's an ad hominem attack — you don't like it that I disagree with you, but you don't have what it takes to address what I have actually said — so you…

You DID miss the point and bluebird420 does get to tell you anything s/he wants to. You are totally ignorant of the culture in NYC, so you judge it without understanding it. Who are you to say that your judgment of a culture you haven't even tried to understand is correct?

Well said!

YOU are looking for ways to be respectful? You? Try looking in the mirror. Start there. You think you are sensitive to others, but you are not. You are just sensitive. You have major chips on your shoulder that make you hostile to others and that kills any chance for communication. You assume other people are…

As I said, I live in NYC. The thing about NYC is that many people here are from somewhere else, so that IS a question that white people get asked. Many white people in NYC are from places outside the US and have the accents to prove it. This place is different from anywhere else in the world. When New Yorkers…

I said, "Anyway, I think it is sad that people assume you want to know where someone is from because you are an evil racist. Whatever."